Upon waking from my afternoon nap to the annoyance of my phone going off, I realized I had been dreaming… and I didn’t like it. LaSandra hasn’t gotten a hold of me today, and I’m assuming she’s mad at me for not waking her up by calling her like I agreed to at 9:30am yesterday. During that time the bus I was on was at Walmart and there was a mechanical issue with the door. I apologized to her and feel like crap, and she said it was okay, but I can’t help but wonder if she really meant that things were cool between us or she was just saying it.
The dream I had stemmed off this event, and I had a dream that LaSandra was mad at me. She was emotional and whiny but I dont remember her actually flipping out. The reason for the fight I do not know, but my mother was there. >.>’ After we were done squabbling she gets up off the couch, walks over to my mother, and with both of them standing over me on the floor my mother starts whispering about me. What she said I do not know, but my fear was that it was something awful and I shouldn’t be trusted because I’m a bitch and nothing more than trash, combined with stupid remarks about what an awful daughter I was when I was a preteen. I couldn’t tell her to shut up because in real life she’s done this crap to me before, and when I tell her to stop in real life she lies and says “I wasn’t talking about you.” Because of this knowledge I sat there in the floor feeling like some kinda 10 year old who’s totally helpless, watching mom slander me to my friend who was definitely not going to be my friend by the time they were done.
There was nothing I could do. I felt helpless and even scared. 😦