Coupe De Crash

It was a boring late summers night at home, and I needed to get out and do something. My brother wasn’t home, and my son was sleeping, but my “brothers car” was here…. a 1999 Saturn 2 door coupe, gold, and it was all mine to drive. (This isn’t his car in real life, nor anyone elses I know.) I snag the keys, lock the doors to the house, jump in the car, and wonder briefly if I should be doing this. My son is home alone, I don’t have a licence, the vehicle is uninspected (illegal in NH to drive), I’m taking my brothers car without permission- but I Just. Don’t. Care.

I need the wind in my hair.

I need the possibility of the unexpected in front of me.

I need the chance to go out and do something for myself.

I need my autonomy.

I jump on the highway and head to Portsmouth for a chance to get away from it all. I had a sever desire to do some shopping to make myself feel better, so I hit up the mall. I leave with over-sized white shopping bags stuffed with clothes, and paper bags filled with various fragrances from multiple stores. I load them behind my seat and pull off heading south. I was feeling hungry, and decided to eyeball the various restaurants around.

The scenery changes, and none of the restaurants belonged to Portsmouth, but I still identified it as such- still being in Portsmouth. I veer off into a parking lot with some major food chain label against it and walk in. I decided I didn’t like the options on the menu and left. Back in the car.

I make my way back to the house and see if I can spot anything on the way back for food, but I ended up making a side trip. Before me is the less-than-thrilling 5th wheel porn shop, and I decide to head inside. Everything looks the same as it does in real life. The walls are a little more grey than white. The counter is to your left as soon as you walk in. Video’s and magazines beside it to the right. To the right of the entrance is the the toys and such. I look at a set of white fabric hand-cuffs with rope attached to it and longingly wish I had someone to try this out with, but I keep roaming around. I find myself making a full circle ’round the store and back at the front looking at the flavored lubes & condoms. Nothing terribly exciting. I leave and purchase nothing as I have no one to share it with.

As I exit and round the corner to my car, there’s a car that slipped gears and is rocking back and forth in neutral bumping gently and repetitiously against the front passenger door of my car with it’s front bumper. A peculiar site to behold. I get in my car and create a silent mantra in my head. Please don’t get pulled over by the cops. Please don’t get pulled over by the cops. Please dont.Low and behold I turn on the car, swerve it around to back out, and just as I do I get blinded by the headlights of a cop car pulling into the porn shop. I turn the wheel sharply to finish my reverse and pull out but the car stalls. The officer looks at me and beams a warm and inviting smile.

“Yeah, I use to have that same kinda car. Don’t cut the wheel so sharp and you’ll be all set.”

I smile politely at him and try to keep my cool. I finally straighten out and drive into the highway. I quickly come to a delima. The right side of the road has cars stopped that are bumper to bumper, but the left has zero traffic. I figured if I stay to the right and not move I might get pulled over because of the sticker on my car, so I head into the passing lane and watch as someone from the right does the same. I speed off into the night when suddenly a car comes at me head on. Rather then suffering any injuries or serious car damages,  the whole thing gets smacked and bumps backwards 10 feet as though I were in a bumper car. The car that hit me? A cop.

Shit!

I accept defeat right then and there. He glares at me as he gets out of his car and I sit in mine, paralyzed as I rack through all the things he’s going to charge me for. I came to the conclusion of losing at least 32 points from my licence and possible jail time, but they don’t know about my son.  As I step out a few military personnel and  other law enforcement officers are on the scene, but they’re relaxed and side-tracked with their own assigned tasks. One military man greets me warmly. He’s in a beige uniform that has an army tailored look about it. Tan skin, dark eyes, amazing definition to his body…. I like the cut of his jib. Smoking hot. If this were school I’d give him an A+ for his smile alone! We start talking and I try to probe him about the consequences of my actions with the car accident, but he confesses he’s not knowledgeable in that field and cracks a few witty jokes. He’s not only sexy but funny too? Oh, I could like this a lot! We continue to talk and laugh but all the while my anxiety continues to spike higher and higher as I wait for the expected smack down by someone. Finally my anxiety plateaus in my throat as every hair on my body stands to attention.

I wake up. My breath is ragged, nerves are frayed, and sweat is starting to bathe my skin. 8am. Time to hit the morning. I shake it off and get the details of the dream down, deciding to attack it later…. and here I am with you.

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