Abandonment Issues

What a nightmare. 😦

I woke up from dead sleep to a panic. I dreamed I left my son home alone in the middle of the day for him to do his own thing. When I got home he put himself to bed and woke up the moment he heard me. I felt so guilty I ran up and snuggled him.

During this process of getting to my son, Verna Emerson was in my dream, and we ran into each other at the dollar tree and I asked for her help – said it was an emergency. She took me to the beach thinking we had time, but finally she got it. She was just as sweet and kind as ever.. I miss her. In my dream however I abandoned her and promised to go back to her, but I didn’t. 😦 Manifestations of the real world I guess. I still want to go back to church… I feel like I owe her. Correction – I DO owe her… 😦 She was an unsung hero in my world and I never truly recognized it.

Meh… anyway, before seeing Verna, I was running uphill in Dover, hard and fast, already short on breath from panic. I cross the road trying to get to the spot needed to see my son then too, but it didn’t quite work. The buss rounded the corner, saw me, and offered a lift. I caught the door as it was moving and held on for a while as it was going 20 MPH or so. I thought it would stop at Market Basket for me, but went straight to the dollar tree (hence how I ended up there.) Anywho – when it picked me up I and a bunch of runners out of nowhere disrupted the flow of traffic by jogging in the middle of the road. I remember feeling guilty for it, and afraid I was going to be hit by a car.

I just wanna wake up and snuggle my lil man now to make sure he’s okay 😦 I love my baby boy. He’s amazing.104935-scenery_nature_landscape_photography_black_and_white


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