Embracing One Another


I was traveling with a large group of SDA friends, former SDA friends, and random people from SDA academies that I didn’t know. We ended up at this indoor camp retreat – much like natures classroom. The room we’re in is a half-moon shape with boards of wood angled just so to make the curve around half the room. I, Jeff, and Stephanie are up against the wall; I’m lying on this half bed/couch thing facing the entrance in front of me. Stephanie is standing to the left and started chatting away with a few people. Jeff is to my right sitting on the couch. Ryan U. appears through the front door, and I secretly pang a little inside. He was here because of some sort of competitive thing where he and a few friends were doing some boot-camp style competition, and needed a place to crash. Ryan initially sits next to me, and I’m polite and say hi. Soon he’s getting on with Jeff and laughing it up about whatever. I wish his brother was beside me instead.

Well, my mind must have agreed with me, because in walks his brother Jay, and Ryan seems to disappears into thin air. Jay was all too happy to see me (for once.) He sits down beside me on this bed thing and we start to chat. He’s tired from training, and wants to sleep, but a presentation is about to begin. The man in charge switches off the lights and throws on a movie that none of us care to watch. All of us in the room pretty much ignore it, and soon people start to fade out. After a while Jay & I inch our way closer to one another on this bed/couch thing. First were sitting upright, then were sitting with my arm linked in his, then he holds my hand and slouches down, until eventually were laying down snuggled together. The odd thing is – were both happy to finally be in each others embrace. Time slips by slowly, and it feels like an eternity I got to stay curled up with him.

Finally I saw Ryan in a reflection across the room, but his reflection was sitting beside Jay. I pick my head up to look and find him, but he’s not here… kind of like a phantom sighting. I tell Jay Ryan was here, and he picks his head up to scan the room too. We give up because neither of us want to escape one anothers embrace. I realize right then and there I’m dreaming and panic a little, which sends my dreams to a hault, and forces me to wake up and write this down.

No Fun. Not Fair. Fuck. >.>’

*Sigh* I guess my mind is doing this because Peter freaked me out. Jay told me in an email “I’m not a christian anymore,” and I took it that he was no longer going to church. A few times I’ve gone last year, and not once did I see him. The day I decide to go back, Peter tells me he’ll be here next week. Crap. I am shocked that Peter seemed happy to see me.


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