A Boy Named Felix

I fell in love with a boy named Felix; he’s not quite a man, but a boy who’s 20. He was shy, sensitive, quiet, and cute – but after a while he’s quite funny too. I was in “my” home that was somewhat different, and a few of my family and their friends I’d never met were watching tv or cooking. I didn’t really care for what was going on, so I went into the room where Felix was hanging out and started bonding. We talk about video games and other things of interest and commonality. After a while he came forward and said he liked me, but long distance relationships aren’t his thing. I guess he was really a farm boy in the mid-west. I slight pang of disappointment went through me, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t still be friends, or I couldn’t enjoy my time here with him. I step out of the bedroom real quick to check on my guests, and low and behold, the ex is sitting on my couch between my dad and my brother – Aris. As soon as he saw me he stood up, smiled, and walked over towards me as through he were happy to see me. I feel guilty rather than angry – guilty because I was falling for someone else just a moment ago. Then I feel defensive because I don’t want him meeting Felix, so I need to get rid of Aris. I guess my mothers politeness ruled out over everything despite hating Aris, so she asked him “eggs and potatoes for dinner okay?” “Sure” he replies. I panic because mom is using my food, I only had 1 potato left, and he cant have it. I go into the kitchen and say “No, that potato is mine, I just bought it, and he can’t have it. Here – ” checking on top of the fridge to find something potato like, I hand it to Aris who was standing behind me, and walk away back to Felix. Aris is kind of staring there dumb-founded at me and making me feel like an errant child, but quite frankly he shouldn’t have even been there. I hate him.

I’m back beside Felix who’s playing something on the computer when some old-timer shows up sitting against the wall opposite to us; It was Felix’s grandfather. I forget what was said, but I know Felix joined us and the grandfather put some kinda music his computer. Felix is standing in front of me and I try to get closer to see whats on the computer, but Felix thought I was trying to snuggle with him. It got kinda awkward trying to figure out how he should respond to me, but finally he spins around, grabs me by the waist, and does this hugging/slow-dance thing. Being so close against him and inhaling his scent threw me into a spell of lust and security. I loved it. Eventually he took control of the situation and started whisking me around the room spinning and dancing. I was embarrassed, shy, and loving every moment. I turn to look at the grandfather, and am grateful he’s asleep. I look back up at Felix, and he’s subtly changed some how. He’s seems stronger, confident, and a tad bit taller perhaps. All of a sudden he wasn’t some shy boy, but a man in that moment. I hug him against me again and a sudden thrill and lust yet again rushes through me. I pull back and the song ends. He’s now back to the shy boy. We felt awkward in the moment, but I was still attracted. Felix goes back to his computer, and I go back to watching him. I figured that even though he may not be interested in a long-term relationship, perhaps we can stay connected. “Do you have a Facebook I can add you too?” “No.” “Do you have an email address?.” “No.” “Do you have a phone number???” “No.” I felt hurt and confused now. Why is he doing this? Everything voids to black and I wake.

For the record: Yes, he looked very close to Pewdiepie – AKA: Felix.

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