I feel conflicted once more. There so much good going on in my world, as well as bad. If only I could lock on to my inner peace…. but the power to do this lies with one who I surrendered my power to long ago, never to return. If only thoughts of happiness and peace didn’t lie within a world of illusions and dreams. I feel as if I want to run away, but then I look upon this as a measure of cowardice within…. living somewhere where I don’t have to deal with people, just me and my son, along with the select few I welcome in. I cannot find the balance… on the one hand, you shouldn’t have people in your world who cause you harm… but on the other, it just feels like running away if I simply block those people out. My intelligence and analytical abilities seem nothing more than a curse, and strength becomes weakness; a double-edged sword. I’m enveloped in stress. I can’t find my way through the fog. It’s so hard to see the beauty of the forest through so many splintered trees.