Ebb & Flow: The Emotional Tide

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The surface is starting to break… white roars from the ocean that would normally soothe start to produce anxiety within me… these are my tides. These are my oceans. These are my emotions. Something is stirring inside me…. this isn’t just sadness… this is anger. I wanted one without the other….

Why the fuck did my therapist need to be away when I’m breaking the next level of my journey…

Why the fuck do I not have anyone to talk too…

Why the fuck do I feel like I want to go home but yet I’m sitting in my bed…

I need to nurture myself…

I need to nurture my tears…

No… I don’t need to tame the ocean… do I become it?

Its amazing how one person can fear the ocean while another idolizes and embraces it… the ocean of self.

I hate myself.

I love the ocean.

Even within myself I am entirely cryptic when I’m not even trying…

So close, yet so far…..

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