A Chronic Case of Blah

Just, seriously, blah. 

I copied my letter to my inner child blog from yesterday to the Facebook group I’m a part of – Codeoendent hope for recovery, and I’m surprised it had the ability to move so many people in the same little boat as me. 

I’ve spent most of my day in bed either meditating or sleeping, and I can’t tell if I’m running from my emotions or… Aww hell, I’m suppressing it. I don’t wanna feel it today. >.>’ I updated my about me section since people keep going to it, so I figured after 3 years it should be more accurate. 

I have to go to work in a little while and I’m just not feeling it; I also gotta walk the 5 miles there and the 5 miles back – hour and a half each way. 

I noticed I don’t need the Ativan anymore since I’ve started the SSRI meds and panic attacks are more manageable, but I still keep them on hand just in case I can’t keep it together. I also hate having chronic dry mouth, and even though I don’t feel depressed, there are times I can’t help myself mirroring my depressive phases, like today, not wanting to do shit. I can’t wait till I have a car and can quit my job. 

Sorry I have nothing of value to actually post on here today; I’m just so blah… Dysthymic.


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