I walked a good 2-3 miles today all over Newmarket between Pokemon hunting and photography hiking. This was one of the pics I took. It was beautiful, but I don’t feel much in the way of joy inside… Appreciative, and it got my imagination going while I was out there, but It wasn’t long-lasting or elative. My internal battery is depleted lower than it should be.
I hung out at crackskulls and the library this morning to do a bunch of reading & studying out of my Wicca books; it too got the imagination going, which was nice, but also a little less than fulfilling.
I woke up and put on a meditation track for a while… It felt nice. Sy woke up, got dressed, we went down stairs thinking we’d be alone as usual, but Ben was in the bathroom and Kylie was on the couch – I was in no mood to see her after her arrogance yesterday. I sat at the kitchen table and waited for Ben to get out so sy and I could use the restroom. Moments later Ben comes out and sy rushes in in a hurry; Ben waves at me and starts to chat. He apologized for not responding to my initial text last night that had me worried if he was mad at me, or just working, or at the hospital, or what. Thankfully Kylie was there so I could explain to Ben in her presence that I was worried he was mad at me or something had happened because I didn’t hear back from him, but I thanked him for his apology; hopefully she was able to see her comment was completely unwarranted from last night since I wasn’t trying to get involved in his medical stuff, just wondering what happened cause I sent him a text and hadn’t heard from him all day (fuck you bitch). The most arrogant thing someone can do is school me in morals and ethics when a) I wasn’t seeking their guidance, and b) I’d never recognize her as that source of morals or strength.
Yes, I’m still angry at her, and hopefully she took a subtle hint listening in on our conversation.