Normality is Strange

The past few days have been rather bland since thanksgiving, and I like it. Stranger than that is that the house feels “back to normal” in a sense. Kylie wanted to do a Sherlock marathon on Netflix, so I offered to bring my tv and stuff downstairs. About 4 hours in she calls it a night and heads to bed.

Strange that she wanted to hang out with me when I remember having a dream that morning that I was screaming at Ben for saying one thing and doing another, saying we’re just acquaintances but then getting pissed at him cause I got my new car and he wants to go for a joy ride with me, but he’s been treating me like shit for months. Kylie was present in the dream and sitting quietly at the table, and I used the example of her buying me a coffee and then not wanting to hang out at all cause she couldn’t figure it what she wanted and strung me along. In the end I know I I need to emotionally protect myself and forgive others for harming me, because getting angry over that scenario over and over again shows I’m surrendering my power, but I wish my hopes hadn’t been brought up in those moments. 

Moving on, I put out more of the gratitude bags today, but this time in the mills and to the delivery driver who delivered our food. Ben was at the house for a little bit yesterday, and he offered me his wii for free because of my splatoon game as soon as he purchases the new Wii that’s coming out. It’s a $200 machine that he’s giving me, and I’m in shock over it. He’s been incredibly nice since he’s been gone for nearly 3 weeks between his family visiting and the hospital trips and constantly working, only to see me for 20 minutes and leave again, but I’m not going to take it as a sign of friendship at this point. I need to my walls up for this one. 

I’ve started reading a book on developing ones psychic abilities, and I’m really into it. My obsession watching paranormal activity has me truly thinking that spirits exist, but I don’t see them as Angels and Demons. Once sy has gone to bed I’ll be cleansing my aura and the energy in my room… Although I could just do it for the house now. It’s been about 2 weeks since I conducted my last spell. Again, lounging around for 5 days with sy, Thanksgiving, no drama, no boredom, and no pressing emotional issues has me feeling a level of genuine homeostasis I haven’t felt in a long ass time. This may be the only time where boredom is bliss. 

I’m still not use to this time change…

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