Middle School

Did you ever have that experience in middle school where a group of “friends” ostracized you through the subtlest of ways? That’s what’s going on at present in my home. >.>’ the moment they come home and see me they fall silent, the moment I come downstairs and use the restroom or something, they fall silent. Funny enough though when they’re away from each other and I’m present, their behavior changes. While Ben was gone, Kylie did a 3 hour marathon of Sherlock with me, and while be was showering she decided to talk to me; likewise when Ben came him from parental visits and hospital trips, he’d play love letter with me and chat for a while, but now that he’s gone he’s either in his room or out just to talk to Kylie. It’s like they have this pact where if they are together they can’t talk to me, but the moment one of them is unaware of the others actions, suddenly they can talk to me again. 😡 Middle school drama all over again, because yes, that happened to me in middle school.

I hate double standards – this ability to treat me like a “friend” when the other person isn’t present but my existence is a hinderence the moment they see me. Can I just be treated like a human being instead of the plague please? Now I’m angry, hurt, and frustrated all over again after having had a month off from this drama. Fucking hell I’m sick of this shit, but somehow I suddenly feel motivated to read books to fix myself again because I’m no longer balanced internally. 

*sigh* Hopefully this blog has helped enough for me to decompress instead of dwelling on the perseverance of my anger and hurt. I’m sick of all this at this point, and I just want to be free. 


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