5am and I'm up from a god forsaken panic attack. This hasn't happened since about September.... Fucking hell!!!
That was the first major panic attack I've had with that intensity in a long time. I was so narrow-visioned I couldn't see beyond my emotion.... all I wanted was all my problems gone in one instant by solving it and moving on. Bastard of a landlord wants to tow my vehicle... soon as I [...]
In truth, I can't feel that bad for her. Originally Aris tried to get me to feel bad for her as this poor transgendered woman who can't come out of the closet and he's trying to rescue her to garner my sympathy... Then a professor snapped me out of it when she saw I was [...]
It's amazing to walk into work and everyone is all "Hey, Carol!" "Carol, how's it going?" "Morning Carol! We still up for game night?" Even customers are all "how did you get into work? You need a ride home? How's Syrus doing?" Slowly, but surely, community is working its way into my life, and I [...]
With the new moon approaching, I should make a list of ceremonies to conduct. Some resources have said the new moon in Aquarious is an excellent time for finding your twin flame, where other sources say this is great for grounding yourself since emotions won't be running around and determination will be present. It's an [...]
I'm tired of people feeling threatened by my ability to be a strong independent woman, and I'm tired of feeling like because I can't be someone's emotional band-aid 24/7, that makes me less valuable as a human being. Perhaps the anger people feel towards me is their own inability to nurture their wounds, and the [...]
Yesterday I did the Hecates ceremony and a tarot reading with a few simple questions with powerful results. Before the Hecates ceremony I caught myself in a religious state I hadn't experienced in a long time... But the emotion was strong and intense. Whenever I prayed to God as a Seventh-day Adventist Id always end [...]
Don't say "I'm having a bad day." Say "I'm having a character building day." I'm beyond thankful that Alex showed up today. We went to Misty Meadows, and I got the charcoal I needed for burning spells and herbs. We headed to Rochester as well to check out Under the Moon, but they were [...]
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It's amazing how messages keep affirming, reaffirming, and building upon themselves. I'm currently working out of a book called "Hands of light; a guide to healing through the human energy field." One of the messages it talked about what receiving messages for healing, and the only way for that to happen is to connect with [...]