I finally sat down to start an outline for the 5 essay questions:
- Identify what you feel are the essential characteristics of a functional family.
- Describe the reasons why you are interested in becoming a marriage and family therapist.
- What do you think are the major challenges faced by contemporary marriage and family therapists?
- What are your professional goals?
- Identify your personal characteristics, skills, and experiences that will facilitate your success in achieving your professional goals.
1, 2, and 3 are decent enough questions…. it’s when I got to 4 and 5 that made me wonder if getting my MSW would be better in the long run. As I stated, one of the dreams I had recently talked about getting into politics and reforming the system for adults with mental disabilities, but by the same token, I’ve always wanted to be a counselor. For the first time ever I don’t know which way I should go, and in truth, I’m starting to take ownership of my apprehension for applying to a counseling program because of what happened at NEC, and for being codependent. I don’t want to be demonized again for being who I am and publicly ridiculed for it, but UNH has much more accountability with staff, and none of them were ever my mothers counselor. I’m apprehensive because all the skills and strengths I thought I had sort of vanished… and all I see are inadequacies.
I’m fearful of applying, but I’m even more afraid of staying stuck where I am in life right now, and a masters seems like the only way out, which is why I was in a rush to start my masters straight out of the flood gate from my bachelors in the first place.
Damn, I just remembered I have to followup with Nelnet about my student loans once I get my taxes done. The fact that I fell off the band wagon for taking my anti-anxiety meds doesn’t help either. That controlling edge I have because I feel edginess is returning. I didn’t want to mix them with the antibiotics and so I kept forgetting to take them… I mean I’m back into the swing of it now because I’m noticing the changes but I was okay before then. Oi…. that and finding out I wasn’t put back on the schedule this week is killing me. >.>’ We’ll see what happens.