I don’t know why, but I think I finally can personally interpret what it means to hold or “honor” a particular experience or emotion (as a certain person likes to tell me); its to appreciate the experience on some level. For whatever reason I’ve never seen honoring something and appreciating them as synonymous or hand-in-hand with each other, but when I can appreciate a feeling or thought, I find myself wanting to hold my heart and glow just a little bit. Why? I’m not sure, but it helps.
What I do know is that as I continue to read through this book, I find myself wanting to understand how to empathize with myself properly. It takes me back to school when we were in class learning about and practicing open-ended questions and active listening skills. It was exhausting, and although it felt good to practice a skill, it felt daunting too.
“Am I always gonna have to be this way and talk like this? Does this mean I have to change myself by presenting authenticity without feeling it because this doesn’t feel real?” I realize now what was really going on was my thoughts and feelings weren’t given the opportunity to express themselves because I was so busy practicing these skills (which the person on the receiving end would appreciate) that this wasn’t really authentic. I suppose in the end I over did it like the newb I am, but I’m given numerous opportunities and choices in life every day. I’m sure more chances will come.