Containment Past The Breaking Point

I don't know where to begin, other than with the tears I've had bottled up inside of me lately... It starts with a steady stream of hating my "new job". I got to work 2 weeks ago where I was told I was no longer front end and am now Deli only. I had made [...]

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The Karma Carrier

I'm more or less reposting this article for self-reflection, as I seem to strongly feel this applies to me and would like to dig a little more.... recently I've wanted to do a very technical spell to cut the Karma chord with my mother, since I can't help but feel in part that the circumstances [...]

Catching Up

This month has been filled with up's & down's since I became homeless, but I'm surviving. Today I finally got my ass in gear and applied to about 15 different positions that are full time and range between mental health & travel agencies, spreading between the Seacoast and Concord. At this point, I refuse to [...]

Begging for Punishment

I'm at the edge of the precipice again... Last time I stood here I wrote that letter to Ben knowing full well the chain reaction of events would lead to a devastating level of revival towards healing, believing if I pushed past the point of transparency I'd find my way back, and I did... Now [...]

Allowed to be Angry

In full swing I have been pissed at Kylie, and rather than possibly projecting my inner child onto her, I'm not allowing guilt to conflict with my ability to utilize my anger as a tool for boundary setting. I made it absolutely clear that if she's comfortable trashing the kitchen floor so everyone has to [...]

The Death of a Stalker

In truth, I can't feel that bad for her. Originally Aris tried to get me to feel bad for her as this poor transgendered woman who can't come out of the closet and he's trying to rescue her to garner my sympathy... Then a professor snapped me out of it when she saw I was [...]

Blending Experiences

Yesterday I did the Hecates ceremony and a tarot reading with a few simple questions with powerful results. Before the Hecates ceremony I caught myself in a religious state I hadn't experienced in a long time... But the emotion was strong and intense. Whenever I prayed to God as a Seventh-day Adventist Id always end [...]

The Smallest Connection

To be human is to grieve, because if we grieve we are in touch with the swelling of emotions that make us so complex, the glue that permanently connects the puzzle pieces and fragments that make us human compared to the clinical diagnosis that seeks to pull us to pieces for fragmented labels of understanding. [...]

Leading the Rebellion

I'm living with mom and Randy again, and mom hasn't changed at all. She's crass, manipulative, and only cares about herself. I remember her telling me I'm not allowed to have a pet but she's bragging how she has 4 pets. I finally find the animals in the house and there's 3 cats and 1 [...]