Adventures in EMDR Part 3: Decoding What Crazy Means (All Aboard)

About an hour has passed since I came out of therapy. The healing mind is still attempting to nurture me with messages that present an authentic level of self-compassion that feels new to me on some level, as the focus of this session was to pick a sentence associated with multiple memories of varying levels [...]

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Differentiating the Demon from the Man (The Succubi Addiction & Codependency Factor)

Today I've had a veil over my eyes - the hypnotic melodia of my sex drive wanting to rear it's tiny little head out, but instead hijacking my imagination and lulling me back to the fantasy of a man I thought I once knew and loved. This is the experience of addiction, chasing the next fantasy [...]

Tales of a Tarot Reader Pt. 1

About 2 or 3 weeks ago I started my own pagan consult business, but it's mostly paid tarot readings. I sat at the computer, typed up a flyer, printed out 10, and on the second hand-out at 5 monkeys tattoo, the woman was like "Oh my god, you do tarot readings? You have time to [...]

Containment Past The Breaking Point

I don't know where to begin, other than with the tears I've had bottled up inside of me lately... It starts with a steady stream of hating my "new job". I got to work 2 weeks ago where I was told I was no longer front end and am now Deli only. I had made [...]

Begging for Punishment

I'm at the edge of the precipice again... Last time I stood here I wrote that letter to Ben knowing full well the chain reaction of events would lead to a devastating level of revival towards healing, believing if I pushed past the point of transparency I'd find my way back, and I did... Now [...]

Alone in a Coffee Shop

I'm surprised, geniunley shocked that I have alone time before work to write this morning. Having a car back has been bliss, and I've bought so many reading materials it's gonna take a while to get through them all - from 365 ways to raise your vibration, to the artists ways creativity cards & her [...]

Allowed to be Angry

In full swing I have been pissed at Kylie, and rather than possibly projecting my inner child onto her, I'm not allowing guilt to conflict with my ability to utilize my anger as a tool for boundary setting. I made it absolutely clear that if she's comfortable trashing the kitchen floor so everyone has to [...]

Community Status

It's amazing to walk into work and everyone is all "Hey, Carol!" "Carol, how's it going?" "Morning Carol! We still up for game night?" Even customers are all "how did you get into work? You need a ride home? How's Syrus doing?" Slowly, but surely, community is working its way into my life, and I [...]

New Moon in Aquarious

With the new moon approaching, I should make a list of ceremonies to conduct. Some resources have said the new moon in Aquarious is an excellent time for finding your twin flame, where other sources say this is great for grounding yourself since emotions won't be running around and determination will be present. It's an [...]

Blending Experiences

Yesterday I did the Hecates ceremony and a tarot reading with a few simple questions with powerful results. Before the Hecates ceremony I caught myself in a religious state I hadn't experienced in a long time... But the emotion was strong and intense. Whenever I prayed to God as a Seventh-day Adventist Id always end [...]