Hope, Deceit, and Karmic Energy

This week has been more fluctuating than the stock market during bush era. The most pressing issue on my plate was what I was sprung with last night... The guy I was FWB with, Chris, made it seem like trying to get back together with his girlfriend in Vermont was on a down spiral and [...]


The Goddess of Charity

As a child, when you do good deeds, you love to be praised and be reinforced with how good you are and what you've done. Today, thanks to the digital age of viral videos and shared post counts, there are tons of video to be seen of charitable acts of love.... but somehow, I didn't [...]

Adventures in EMDR Part 3: Decoding What Crazy Means (All Aboard)

About an hour has passed since I came out of therapy. The healing mind is still attempting to nurture me with messages that present an authentic level of self-compassion that feels new to me on some level, as the focus of this session was to pick a sentence associated with multiple memories of varying levels [...]

Differentiating the Demon from the Man (The Succubi Addiction & Codependency Factor)

Today I've had a veil over my eyes - the hypnotic melodia of my sex drive wanting to rear it's tiny little head out, but instead hijacking my imagination and lulling me back to the fantasy of a man I thought I once knew and loved. This is the experience of addiction, chasing the next fantasy [...]

Adventures in EMDR Part 1: The Athame turned on it’s end

I'm drawn to think of Pia Mellody and love addiction.... the process of overusing imagination as a dream world for escape. I'm amazed in truth that Keri was able to take what I thought was a weapon of destruction and use it as a tool of healing so suddenly. The Athame, the magical sword on [...]

Tales of a Tarot Reader Pt. 1

About 2 or 3 weeks ago I started my own pagan consult business, but it's mostly paid tarot readings. I sat at the computer, typed up a flyer, printed out 10, and on the second hand-out at 5 monkeys tattoo, the woman was like "Oh my god, you do tarot readings? You have time to [...]

Begging for Punishment

I'm at the edge of the precipice again... Last time I stood here I wrote that letter to Ben knowing full well the chain reaction of events would lead to a devastating level of revival towards healing, believing if I pushed past the point of transparency I'd find my way back, and I did... Now [...]

Soul Baring

Why does falling for someone have this weird obsessive intensity to it? For the past couple of days I find myself wanting to lie in bed and think of him... Endless sarcasm, deeper connections, too many positions and bedroom games that I've rehearsed before I've ever laid a finger on him.  Thankfully he likes me [...]

Alone in a Coffee Shop

I'm surprised, geniunley shocked that I have alone time before work to write this morning. Having a car back has been bliss, and I've bought so many reading materials it's gonna take a while to get through them all - from 365 ways to raise your vibration, to the artists ways creativity cards & her [...]

Community Status

It's amazing to walk into work and everyone is all "Hey, Carol!" "Carol, how's it going?" "Morning Carol! We still up for game night?" Even customers are all "how did you get into work? You need a ride home? How's Syrus doing?" Slowly, but surely, community is working its way into my life, and I [...]