Adventures in EMDR Part 3: Decoding What Crazy Means (All Aboard)

About an hour has passed since I came out of therapy. The healing mind is still attempting to nurture me with messages that present an authentic level of self-compassion that feels new to me on some level, as the focus of this session was to pick a sentence associated with multiple memories of varying levels [...]

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Differentiating the Demon from the Man (The Succubi Addiction & Codependency Factor)

Today I've had a veil over my eyes - the hypnotic melodia of my sex drive wanting to rear it's tiny little head out, but instead hijacking my imagination and lulling me back to the fantasy of a man I thought I once knew and loved. This is the experience of addiction, chasing the next fantasy [...]

Adventures in EMDR Part 1: The Athame turned on it’s end

I'm drawn to think of Pia Mellody and love addiction.... the process of overusing imagination as a dream world for escape. I'm amazed in truth that Keri was able to take what I thought was a weapon of destruction and use it as a tool of healing so suddenly. The Athame, the magical sword on [...]

Containment Past The Breaking Point

I don't know where to begin, other than with the tears I've had bottled up inside of me lately... It starts with a steady stream of hating my "new job". I got to work 2 weeks ago where I was told I was no longer front end and am now Deli only. I had made [...]

The Karma Carrier

I'm more or less reposting this article for self-reflection, as I seem to strongly feel this applies to me and would like to dig a little more.... recently I've wanted to do a very technical spell to cut the Karma chord with my mother, since I can't help but feel in part that the circumstances [...]

Catching Up

This month has been filled with up's & down's since I became homeless, but I'm surviving. Today I finally got my ass in gear and applied to about 15 different positions that are full time and range between mental health & travel agencies, spreading between the Seacoast and Concord. At this point, I refuse to [...]

Begging for Punishment

I'm at the edge of the precipice again... Last time I stood here I wrote that letter to Ben knowing full well the chain reaction of events would lead to a devastating level of revival towards healing, believing if I pushed past the point of transparency I'd find my way back, and I did... Now [...]

Alone in a Coffee Shop

I'm surprised, geniunley shocked that I have alone time before work to write this morning. Having a car back has been bliss, and I've bought so many reading materials it's gonna take a while to get through them all - from 365 ways to raise your vibration, to the artists ways creativity cards & her [...]

Allowed to be Angry

In full swing I have been pissed at Kylie, and rather than possibly projecting my inner child onto her, I'm not allowing guilt to conflict with my ability to utilize my anger as a tool for boundary setting. I made it absolutely clear that if she's comfortable trashing the kitchen floor so everyone has to [...]

The Death of a Stalker

In truth, I can't feel that bad for her. Originally Aris tried to get me to feel bad for her as this poor transgendered woman who can't come out of the closet and he's trying to rescue her to garner my sympathy... Then a professor snapped me out of it when she saw I was [...]