Differentiating the Demon from the Man (The Succubi Addiction & Codependency Factor)

Today I've had a veil over my eyes - the hypnotic melodia of my sex drive wanting to rear it's tiny little head out, but instead hijacking my imagination and lulling me back to the fantasy of a man I thought I once knew and loved. This is the experience of addiction, chasing the next fantasy [...]

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New Moon Ceremony

Last night I conducted a rebirthing spell; considering all the work I've done towards healing it felt appropriate to do so - acknowledge the insights I've gained, what's being cast aside, and where I'm going.... At least, where I hope I'm going.  Closing the ceremony it was a little difficult to ground my energy, but [...]

The Chasm Exands

Working out of the "love yourself, heal your life" workbook, I feel that chasm again... The expanding of my chest to create space, but the more I feel that space the more I recognize what currently fills that space, and the longing that it calls for. It calls for me to love myself, but also [...]

You’re Not Being Abandoned

To My Younger Self, The one whose wounded... The one whose scarred... The one who's afraid you're going to be unloved the whole of your life... It's okay. I'm working on us. They aren't your parents, they aren't your family, and it's my job to heal your wounds and let you know that.  I'm sorry [...]

Practicing Loving Kindness

I need to remember everyone is struggling with something, and not just struggling, but deeply. With this context, I can (hopefully) reduce some of the internal tension I feel when doing the loving kindness mantra. I feel the positive energy when I send it to all beings, and its strongest at that point; I wish [...]

A Slave to Control

I'm either an enabler who can't say anything or a control freak for opening my mouth - that's how I feel. I feel trapped over the stupidest shit, and in the end I know it's because I use control to prevent anger outbursts because that's the defective wall I hide behind versus saying I'm vulnerable, [...]

Trust the Process

I wonder... At the bottom of the well... Is she the pieces of me everyone told me not to be? Is this why I fear her? Is this why I hate her? They're the pieces of me everyone shamed as flawed and bad and ugly and worthless and immature and insecure and less than, and [...]

Beauty Towards the Bottom of the Well

After my coffee shop venture this morning I swing by wild mind meditation shop to see if they had anything available I could use to connect with my grief... Found out about this amazing meditation app that you can use and see who's meditating anywhere in the world - beautiful. Still, I didn't get what [...]

To Decompress

I called out of work and said "fuck it, I need a day off." Considering I had a 3 day weekend I shouldn't need time off like this, but I need to make joy my priority today. I still carry around my therapy books like a good little Christian soldier ready to heal the masses [...]