Tag Archives: family

The Karma Carrier

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I’m more or less reposting this article for self-reflection, as I seem to strongly feel this applies to me and would like to dig a little more…. recently I’ve wanted to do a very technical spell to cut the Karma chord with my mother, since I can’t help but feel in part that the circumstances surrounding my homelessness have to do with karma, and was warned of it earlier this year in someone else’s tarot reading they did for me. I need to persevere through this experience…. I hate this, but this wouldn’t have been dealt to me if it didn’t have its purpose. I find the parallels between myself and my grandmother uncanny to a major extent, but I see so many patterns and repetitions unfold between my life as her granddaughter, and her relationship with her own grandmother, and so on. This whole thing makes me want to do a family tree to trace back stories of old and reincarnation.

The Family Karma Carrier

 

Dropping Tears of Rage to the Floor


My dream starts off in a dim cafeteria that only has small windows towards the top of the double story ceiling to provide any light; I’m volunteering through hannaford by servicing people in need when I hear a familiar voice “I wanna see carol, I miss her so much.” I’d recognize that pouty voice anywhere since I served her for almost 3 years as her team leader. I come rushing around the corner and give becky a huge hug and begin cry my eyes out with her on her shoulder, saying I’m sorry over and over again. Danielle, my supervisor at hannafords, looks on fondly.

Later I run into my former boss Sarah, and ask her how I can help out. She hands me a box of gift cards to be stocked from local stores and restaurants, mostly from outback steak house. I dropped the box as I’m walking away and they all spread across the floor; the box is no longer usable. I organize the cards in piles and pick them back up, and drop them again, but they remain mostly in the piles I put them in. I put them away and look to the back of the room… That’s when I see her… Gina. She now drops something and I go over to help her pick it up. She doesnt know I’m here and doesn’t make eye contact, so in my generosity there’s a spiteful “fuck you I’m nice” element. “Kill them with kindness” comes to mind.

“Oh im so glad you guys are here. The work you all do is wonderful; you guys should come work for us” she says with a faux simper.

“Sorry, but I already did that once before, and I’ll never do it again.”

She finally looks at me and I’m beaming at her. She’s stunned, and I continue on holding on to my power and a slow simmering rage towards her to exert my dominance, tell her how much I love my job now, and how much it’s a shame that I’ll never work for such a terrible employer again. Gina struggles to find a snarky comment, and I leave before she gets the chance.

This time I’ve given a clothing donation to take care of,  but to my horror my dirty shirt and 2 pairs of underwear are among them! I’m trying desperately to conceal them by wrapping them up in a bundle, but they keep falling out and the stack gets bigger and heavier. Gina walks by and snarks “you should be more careful next time” with a smirk on her face. I ignore her and make it sound as if I can’t hear her. I brush it off and pick myself back up, not wanting to be phased.

In the next row I hear someone say “oh look, it’s carol Simpson! Oh, never mind, you’re too tall! Ha ha ha” when I look I see Ellen had said that to Bee in gest as a way of making fun of me. “Oh fuck you” I scream at the top of my lungs, but no one hears me or cares in a room crawling with people. I storm off and try to center myself.

I’m outside and near a body of water I think, but before me buried in sand is a bunch of stones – onyx, hemetite, jasper, sun stone, moon stone… And these are all mine! They’re from my bedroom! My brother Jim is nearby, and where he’s stolen from me before I furiously storm up and confront him. “DID YOU TAKE MY STONES” I screm at full force. Jim can’t take ownership of what he’s done, and mom and big Jim are now standing to my left. “Just tell her you did it” mom says, since jims face is now twisted with embarrassment and guilt. He says he did, and I launch into a speech asking him why he feels it’s okay to treat me like shit and disrespecting me through my belongings, but most importantly those are healing stones, and he tried to sabotage my ability to heal in stealing them.

Just then my mother snarks “ironic isn’t it; now you know how I feel.” She was referring to when I was 14 I had stolen from her, but when I tried to explain to her that was different cause little jim is now an adult, big Jim (his dad) steps in and says something, but I don’t remember what it was. I know I threw my hand up in a “stop” gesture, and told him I didn’t give a shit what someone as abusive and negligent as him has to say; what I do know is that I was seething with rage.

Suddenly there’s a restaurant dining room connected too the home kitchen I’m standing in, and I’m screaming at mom and Jim, but they don’t care and disregard me as crazy and irrational with a whole restaurant of people judging me silently and taking my moms side. I felt like telling people off in that moment and defending myself as not crazy, but I chose to ignore them instead, pretending the kitchen is a barrier that keeps me safe from the crowd of diners. Little Jim never apologized, and I don’t recover all my stones from the beach; there was one in particular that has gone missing and I start contemplating making Jim pay me back or just buy me a new one.

My Dearest Nightmare

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Day 1

To My Dearest Love,

Forgive me if I don’t know where to begin – I’m afraid my thoughts and feelings fall and scatter before me like a summer rain; I welcome and observe with a sense of melancholy what lays before me, but try as I might, I cannot catch them all. I suppose if I might run or dance through them, I may catch more, but in this moment, I need to stand back and observe my thoughts, my feelings, and the sensations that occur. Unlike most, I welcome the storm – I do not fear it, but I suppose you knew this about me already.

Since you’ve set sail for the sea, twice now I’ve attempted too swim, twice now I’ve laced my life with death, twice now I’ve drowned, and twice now I’ve washed ashore to the starting point on the sands below the precipice where we built our home.Be it Odin or Poseidon curse or vengeance towards a goddess who could rival the Gods, I know not, but what I do know is that the emptiness consumes me, the longing embraces me, and this wretched turmoil has been forever immortalized by sonnets and prayers. Of all I’ve had to carry, being the burden barer that I am, this is the one that sits like a boulder within my chest. I imagine the sea beside our home regularly supplied by the tears I’ve shed.. watching… waiting… my blessing is the location that I’m in for the beauty is still distracting. 

Day 2:

I’ve slept on the shores again. As I awoke I caught the sun shining through the cracks of dark clouds, promising the warmth of a new dawn, a new hope, and a new life. The vibrancy of blue casts a spell on this land, enchanting all out of it’s slumber; two doves of white were soaring overhead, one carrying an olive branch… who knew this prison could be so beautiful? The symbolism of the branch however is not lost on me, for perhaps, just perhaps, those doves were messengers of hope. I go now to set the table for two, pray chance you should surprise me at the table.

Evening of Night 2:

My love, I wish you could watch the sun set before me over the ocean – hues of red, and gold, and purples mix into the realm of twilight. Legend has it that demons come pouring forth about this time to lace the world with sorrow and suffering, but I refuse to believe it.

I listened to the pastors sermon today; it was a message of what faith can do if we can just believe. A family had nothing to eat for the holiday of Noel, and the parents had told the children that a feast would come. The children then countered ” but we have not set the table, if we believe that food will come and have faith that God will deliver, then we must set the table.” The rest of the logistics escape me, but someone remembered this family, and delivered a feast for 5 by the afternoon. The irony of this morning is not lost on me, and indeed, the many mornings before… but it becomes a painstaking process the moment I question why you are not here, but my faith so palatable. It was difficult to clear the table and dispose the food… there is something sacred about your chair, as if your aura should have been here. I can’t tell if it brought me comfort or grief, but this home has become a temple for you that I worship from. Oh, how I long to have you near me.

Midnight Hour:

I can’t tell for the life of me if it is morning or night – it’s too dark to know for certain. I just woke up dripping in sweat and tears, the salt of my wound mixing with the salt of the sea. I must calm myself… I must get this emotion out of me. The terror of the night enveloping me in the very same darkness that would hypnotize most to slumber, but instead, the darkness of time betrays me. The scent of you is fading from these sheets of ours, and the longing comes back with a vengeance.

The dream… I must get these fragments down… there was you, maybe 10 years ago, standing above the rose hedges at your grandmothers estate in Darbishire; the sight of you was breathtaking and overwhelming, surpassing the handsome features the country has to offer.I could feel the tears as they pricked against my eyes, and I ran to you, as fast as I could, feeling each step getting harder and heavier with each passing stride… but I made it.Nestled in your warm embrace, the maelstrom of emotions breaks free, and I cry into your chest, banging my fist against you as a child might do.You chuckle, most likely amused by my reaction, and simply hold me, kissing my head on occasion, waiting for my tears to subside. Slowly, things fade away with my eyes closed nestled in your embrace… how much time has passed… seconds… minutes… hours… then panic grips me.

“Shit!” I open my eyes while and find myself plummeting to my knees…. you’re gone, and suddenly I find myself in an ancient forest that hasn’t touched the light of day or the silhouette of the moon for centuries. There’s something in here that threatens my very existence, and I know my life is on the line. Briefly assessing, the woods are somehow gradient mixtures of black and gray with no discernible source of light – dust seems to cover everything, and I’m not sure how any of this is possible. Not a sound exists… no sound is capable of existing here… no wind… no movement… it’s terrifying. There is no life other than the trees which somehow maintain enough energy to block anything from entering this place… or leaving. “I shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be here…” 

Suddenly I am running, unable to contain the panic; I know I’m running from something.The darkness closes in again, and the harder I run, the more painful it becomes, and the faster the darkness approaches…

“No”

It’s coming…

“NO”

It’s hard to breathe…

“NOOOO”

I jolt from my bed, screaming aloud. 

>>>>>>>>>>>(Blah…. too much to write and edit. I’ll be fixing this later… yes I know it’s rough, but this is just copy pasta from my journal I keep in my room anyway.)

The Dream of Arrests

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I was driving down a road somewhere going 7 miles per hour over the speed limit…. mind you, you can legally go 5 over so I saw it as being 2 mph over the legal limit. Anyway, I see the blues flash and pull over to the right side of the lane. Two other cop cars are pulled over to the left directly across from me on the other side of the road. I huff and roll my eyes as I bend towards the passenger compartment to pull out my papers and my licence. He comes up to the car with his light flashing in my car (it was night time), and asks for licence and registration. I hand him both, and happen to notice there are two badges of two guys clipped to the right side of his uniform. Upon closer inspection, I recognized the one on the top. “Hey, that’s my brother! Why is his picture on a badge?” The cop looks up at me, bent over to make himself level to me, and gives a rather proudfull but uncomfortable smirk. “Oh, yeah? What’s his name?” “J**** S******”. He beams a smile at me and says “I’ll be right back.” I get very uncomfortable, and get out of the car. I follow him to one of the cop cars across the street where he’s typing up something on a laptop and analyzing papers. “Now wait a minute – whats this all about? Why do you have a picture of my brother? He’s done nothing wrong; he’s no criminal!” In my heart I feared he may be in trouble for theft or something, but the officer pulls out a ton of random pictures of my brother in party glasses and goof mardi gras wigs, making a fool out of himself for the sake of getting and giving a laugh…. the thought “eccentric as always” wistfully passes through my mind. The cop says “He’s been seen going around the fox run mall and a few other stores dressed like this. We think it’s highly suspicious.” Seriously? They’re going on a hunch? >.>’ If dressing like a goof-ball some new level of profiling? “Look, I know my brother is a little eccentric” I press, “but that alone doesn’t make him a criminal. He likes a good laugh and thinks it’s hilarious…. that’s all.” The cop gives a cocky chuckle and complements it with kind of a “uh-huh” response. He asks where my brother lives, and I tell him he’s living with me and give the address. He punches that into the computer, turns his head, and beams a full smile at me while handing me back my papers. “You’re free to go. Have a good night.” I’m left in shock and disbelief. He let me off without a ticket, and in exchange, I inadvertently helped him out in a case against my brother that I knew would amount to nothing. I get back in the car and drive off pissantly, spitting a verbal fire of hate towards the cops. I particularly remember calling them “pigs” once I was off and the stereo was playing. I call my brother when I am some distance away, and the dream fades out.

Hearts & Wander

Fear not, for I have dreams to share, but I thought I’d also give my readers an update. My laptop is dead which is why I haven’t posted anything in forever. I rely on my phone to let me know whats going on in the interwebz, but thats all I have. Until then I cannot resume my otherwise monthly rambles and fragments of visions in the night until I buy a new one.

There is a new character to my dream, and his name is Travis – my new boyfriend. Val is also new, and she is his net door neighbor. These are the dreams I’ve had I remember well enough to share.

Hearts (October)

I’m lying in my boyfriends bed dozing off for a while. I’m facing the wall and in my minds eye, I am present in the moment. If I were to have opened them, there would be no difference. All of a sudden I get this bright idea to draw him a heart on his wall with a crayon. They’re washable, and I thought it would be sweet if Travis could see something of me, from me, since I can’t be here every night when he goes to bed. I clamor to the foot of the bed and find the broken crayons in my purse I carry for my sons entertainment for when we are out, crawl back into bed, snuggle up, and start drawing a red heart with my initials and his.

At this point in real life, Travis crawls into bed behind me. After a moment I hear him say “what the heck” and realize I’m scratching his wall in the shape of a heart with my pointer finger. It was just enough for me to pull back in real life, and almost wake me up, but instead I dozed back into la la land.

Back in my dream, once I was finished with the heart, I seem to be quite proud of myself for showing even a small but meaningful token of my affections for him. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, and Travis wakes up and runs on over. Val comes in and starts talking to him when she sees me in his bed. She walks on over and says her usual “sup bitch” in her warm and sarcastic way. Then she sees that I drew on his wall, and she reproaches me for it, saying how proud she is of Travis for keeping his house clean the way he does, and I’m ruining it.
“You can wash it out” I replied, to which she retorted “Oh yeah? With what?”
“A Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.”
“Does he have any? Where is it?”
Travis looks down towards his feet in disapproval because of Val, but says nothing. I assumed he didn’t have any.
“I’ve got some at home. I’ll bring it over next time. Or better yet we can go to Walmart or Hannaford right now and I’ll go get some.”
Travis rather liked my heart, and I didn’t want to erase it, but Val was pissed it was there and she is like a adoptive mother to him. Still, I don’t remember what she said next, but I did point out that it IS Travis’ wall, and if he doesn’t have a problem with it, then its none of her business. The dream fades out at that point.

Wander

Yesterday morning I left Travis’ house shortly before 6 after only having 2 hours of sleep. Once I got home I crashed on the couch for an hour before my son woke me up. I was dead tired. Anyway, this is the dream I had during that short hour.

I’m driving back from Travis’ house on Old Dover Road in my mothers car when I see a car behind me some distance away. I wondered if it was an undercover cop car. When I look from the mirror ahead of me, I throw on my brakes because a 4 way intersection appeared out of nowhere with a red light in front of me. The brakes were failing, so even though I slammed them, the car slowly crept forward the entire length of my moms wagon before it stopped. The line where I was supposed to stop was completely behind me. Because I’m in the middle of the road in front of a red light, I say “fuck it, its worse to be stopped in the middle of the road then go through the light.” I looked all three directions, made sure it was safe, and pulled straight on through and saw out the corner of my eye the light had turned green just as I was almost directly underneath it. Still, the car that was some distance away is now closing in with flashing blues… yep, it was an undercover cop car. Even though the light was green once I was directly under it, he was pulling me over for running a red light. I was terrified. Not only was this money I didn’t have, but my mother will bitch at me for making her insurance go up because it was her car, and it reflects on my driving history, screwing up any chances of a job I was hoping for requiring me to transport people. I couldn’t believe it. I pulled off to the side and came to a stop. The cop car parked behind me and stepped out of the vehicle. Once again, my breaks slipped. Even though my foot was against the breaks and I could not push any harder, it slid forward… down hill. I was doing 5 mph at most, so the cop was jogging to catch up. I did the only thing I could do to make it stop, and with my foot against the brake pedal, I threw the car into park and it stopped. Now I’m beyond panic because I’m gonna get a ticket for trying to evade/outrun the cops as well. I throw the car door open and ball my eyes out. The cop points his gun at me and is screaming. I try everything I can to communicate what happened, but I couldn’t speak clearly enough; I’m like a toddler who’s being punished and has a total meltdown and the parents can’t understand a word she’s saying. I wake up in a state of panic and a flood of heat, so tired that I’m unable to reconcile dreams from reality, and wonder if that incident with the cop actually happened in real life. By the afternoon, I realize it wasn’t real, but damn did that scare me.

On a final note: I was pissed at myself. I dreamt about Jason again. I couldn’t fucking believe it. I thought that now that I have a boyfriend I could escape him in my dreams; Nope. He still haunts me. I fucking hate it. I hate him for that matter too.

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Aunt Angie came to visit with her family – until I hit the roof. I went out to take care of something and when I came back she stole my sons school paintings and such off the walls, then the toys, one of the cars… TONS of stuff. I ran to mom and told her what happened, and that we need to get the stuff back, but she said theres no way that we could. Eventually I managed to track her down and the kids were in disbelief that she’d do anything like that, but I screamed and cried and shouted at her at the top of my lungs. In the end she tried to deny it, then got caught and smiled this really eerie smile. It was pure evil for some reason…

I also remember talking to ray-ray; I forget if he called or we saw each other in person, but we talked about how he’s doing and he seemed happy.

No Friends Among Theives

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The first half of my dream starts in my sons school. I’m in a classroom with the lights off, and nothing more than a projector blaring light onto the projection screen over the white board. This is meant to be a meeting of some kind to go over who the teachers are and what is to be expected for the year for our kids – but as I meet my son’s teacher, there’s something so creepy about him that I instantly distrust him. I observed him for a while, and eventually I catch him in the act of stealing from the parents in the classroom. I take the items out of his hands that he stole, but that didn’t stop him. I ran to the principals office who was sitting with the assistant principle and explained a portion of the situation, saying they should be keeping an eye on him. The assistant kinda laughed it off without letting me finish my story, so I told him flat out I caught him stealing and struggled to get the items out of his hands. I fought him, and they need to fire him. Mike Quigly, the principal, said they’d be in there asap to observe and confront him. I go back into the classroom and a lot of people left. The teacher keeps to himself looking nervous towards this dark room in the corner. I look for my bag and see right off the top that my Iphone is missing; I turn to him and see it in his possession. Once again I fight him and get it back. The principal never showed up. He started too, but never really made it.

Then I was wandering around from my house to market basket, waiting for my taxi I called. Strangely, one appears behind the building as I’m walking there, and she looks like she’s looking for someone. Before I could catch the taxi and ask if I’m her pick-up, she takes off to the front of the building, so I run around the front. I can’t find the lady driving the taxi anymore, but I ran into my friend Sara Ramsey in front of market basket waiting for the bus. We get to walking and talking and laughing it up until I noticed this HUGE strand of… rope? chain? cloth? something…. anyway, its a long rope of some kind and I decide to grab on and swing. I enjoy the rush and encourage Sara to grab on. Eventually we find ourselves playing “Spider-man” and pretending this rope is a web string, and we’re super hero’s! We were swinging at amazing speeds across the complex and bouncing off the support beams at a sideways angle to mimic the ability to walk up walls. We were traveling the distance of 5 or 6 small stores as we swung back and forth. Someone came to rain on our fun however, a woman I may have seen before in my dreams; she felt familiar, as did her demeanor. She was about 40, blonde hair, darker blue eyes, and has a child – she was also a high-strung religious woman. I can’t remember what was said, but she emotionally hurt me with verbal attacks, making it seem like I’m an insensitive bitch for playing spider-man because her child could have been here and gotten hurt. Truth be told, Sara and I were keeping our eyes out for the good citizens of market basket so no one would get hurt. I verbally brushed her off with the affect to match, and laughed at her as Sara and I walked away hand in hand, but inside I was fuming. I tell Sara everything will be okay and to “just ignore her.”

The dream transitions into this massive family/church reunion. Sara was with me, and we were all spending the night; there were a few other girls bunking in our room as we were dropping stuff off. We’re waiting for people to show up so the food can begin, so I wander around to pass the time. Sara found Mercy and a few others, so she parted ways. I know there was one part of the dream where I was sitting with Sara again and kinda felt guilty for ditching her. Sara and her friends had these awesome drinks that had glitter in them, and just as I found myself wishing I had one, I somehow have one in my hands that I guess I had the whole time. Mine had a cool feature to it though, the drink itself was yellow with glitter, just like Sara’s, but it was a color changing drink. It went from yellow to dark blue thanks to the reaction of the heat from your hands. Someone random snatched it from me, shook it around to observe it, had a sip, and took off running with my drink in an effort to steal it. I chase after her and get the drink still intact and full, but the theif disappeared. I headed back to the house and see some people I know, but then my dress starts to “malfunction.” It’s a strapless dress and for some reason, it kept sliding off instead of hanging like it was supposed to, so my breasts kept popping out and apparently, I wasn’t wearing a bra >.<'. Thoroughly embarrassed, I take off and change into something else. The dream ends with me going back into the livingroom after getting dressed, rounding the corner, and seeing a family supper that aunt Cindy was hosting in what appeared to be Angelo's house; it was spaghetti and sauce. Everyone else who was at the party broke into groups and had their own family dinner in various other parts of the house.

I wake up to find I slept in this morning. YAY! 😀

Wealthy Choices

I was with this family in Boston in an extremely elegant home… well, more like a palace really. There was an older woman who was most likely the grandmother, then there was the mom, and 2 awesome kids that were 10 and 7. I’m walking around admiring the marble flooring, columns, elegant everything really when I come back to the table and join in on a conversation. The mother is talking to the grandmother about her dad, and I guess he’s not in hiding or something because he got a hold of the grandmother. They’re supposed to meet up and discuss on a partial basis why he ran away. The grand-kids heard it though, so they came barreling in wanting to meet him too. The mother was adamantly against it, and walked off with a final “no”; but I saw what these kids were conjuring up. They started asking lower-level personal stuff like full name and last known location, but I knew what they were up to. Once they had their fill of info from the grandmother they raced along upstairs. I go up there to see whats going on and they’re looking for his current information on google. I do this smile, shake my head, roll my eyes and turn to leave combo. I was quite proud of them actually. I go back downstairs for a few, listen silently, and then go back upstairs out of boredom. The kids found their grandfather, exchanged emails, and left the house without permission. Turns out he lived 5 to 10 minutes down the road and the kids exchanged numbers and addresses. I alert the mother & grandmother by bringing the laptop down for them to read, and take off in a separate car from the other two to look for the kids. I decided however that this was for the best and I hope the kids make it before the ladies catch up, so I decided to do something else instead – it was fine. I’m driving around waving my consequences between not having any money and not having any fun, and decide to check out a few restaurants by the marina. I was gonna see if the family I was just with would lend me money – but I know better. They’re a “too each his own” family. They expected you to start off with nothing and bust your ass off to become rich – as per the”family way,” and if you don’t make it, you’re not really family. Taking that in I said “screw it, I’m gonna have fun.” I parked at some random boat dock/bar & grill and forget the risks.

Everyone inside is loud and laughing with drinks in hand and good times roll’n. I walk up to the bar tender and ask for a menu. The fella next to me buys me a drink, then gets me into the lively conversation he’s having with his friends. I hang out for a bit and then head outside to the docks. There was a sign that mentioned renting one of these massive & elegant boats for a few hours for a God-awful price of $7,000.00. I was considering it as a fun time in exchange for 10 years of debt, but said “no way.” I go back inside, and upstairs to the top half of the bar and look out the windows at how many boats there were, and the massive moon. Then I got lucky and started hanging out with more random people, but this time they invited me on their boat! I went outside, on deck, and boarded his yacht. I had a blast! I never got drunk because I really didn’t want to drink, but I fit in and had fun – thats what mattered really.

I wake up.

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Rushing Waters

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I’m with someone at a brook in the middle of the woods – not sure who he is but I trust him. I decided I was thirsty and needed to get a drink. “In the middle of the woods, the water must be pure” I thought. The guy thats with me tells me not too because it’s not clean, but it seems clean enough to me. Maybe there were bugs in it? Did a moose drink from it? I didn’t know. To find out, I follow it upstream and the gentle waters start to pick up the pace.

I stop focusing on the water below me and pick up my head to notice a gated off area where the water comes from. The gate had a private property – no trespassing sign, along with a danger sign, warning sign, and a really long notice. Behind it is a massive sandstone water plant of some kind, and the water runs from this plant downward into the woods to create a river – no wonder I shouldn’t drink it. Maybe it was polluted water? I don’t know. I open the gate and my friend and I step in. He closes it behind me, and we cautiously make our way forward, unsure what to expect.

I decided to keep following the sight and sound of the rushing water to guide me through this place. The water is being pumped through massive tanks & dams. I make my way up some stairs against a drop off and end up inside the building with the water running through it. There were extremely large metal coils and tanks to the sides of the room, and smaller pipes running above my head. The rooms was somewhat lit, and against the sandstone it was an orangey-yellow emergency lighting. Heading out of this room the quality of the water returns to its natural state because its coming from its real source; the water becomes fine to drink again.

Finally I reach another set of stairs and make it too the top. I see my dad and brother playing in the entrance of the water, which has been turned into a pressurized water slide that travels up and down. I ask the worker at the top of the stairs if it’s safe to play in, and he says “Sure! Watch….” Out of nowhere a baby pig squeals and runs right up to him, and he takes the pig and chucks it straight up into air so it lands in the water slide. It squeals even more at it slides up and down on the slide.

As I make my way out to leave, theres a baby boy in nothing more than a diaper playing near the cliff of the building. Below was a massive amount of water, and he could drown – if not break a few bones from the impact of the landing. I was afraid for him, and I managed to associate him as my son. He never fell in, he just toddled his way around. I was terrified for this child.

Seaside Reunion

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My dream starts off at this house with a picnic table at the back. Moms side of the family has all united for a reunion, and somehow I’m the one managing certain aspects about it.

Then the dream setting shifts, and were all at the beach saying goodbye to one another. I gave aunt Angie a hug, but something about it felt a little…off; mean even. The vibe from her was disturbing, though she smiled and acted as if she missed me.

I turn around and look behind me to see my cousins, Angies kids, playing on the edge of a small cliff. Below is the sand, and high tide approaching. I was a little disappointed that we were at the beach and I never got the chance to at least soak my feet, so I headed towards them, but stayed against the sea. The further I traveled forward, the more uncomfortable it got against my bare feet. It went from sand, to tiny broken shells mixed with sand, to pretty decent size shells and no sand. They were similar to the snail shells, but beautiful different colors.

Then the tide started to come in a little quicker. I was below my cousins at the cliff looking up, and with the water approaching, I tried to climb the cliff, but it was made of sand that was too soft to climb. I turned to the right and looked at where I came from to see my mom trying to come towards me, but she’s wary of the tide coming in too. I worry a little about how were going to get out and walk towards her, but she finds a way, and so do I.

The way out was a little sand hill that was steep, but enough to get above sea level. I climb the sand and turn right, but it sand hill itself was not enough for me to get back onto the sandy grass. I was still on the edge of the cliff, and as I try to walk forward, a decent size aggressive crab walks in front of me. Again, I walk towards the right and a little faster than it, not only to make sure I dont get pinched by this thing (or lose a toe), but also to get off the dangers of the cliff.

Instead, I almost fall off the cliff, catch myself, and keep walking forward. As I do I find myself back against the ocean and I’m staring up at what appears to be a shiny, onyx colored mushroom cap the size of a small pizza. It started to hiss and came to life. Amazed at what was before me, I pull out my phone to take a picture. Theres a man now sitting right by this thing. He’s watching me and the creature. As soon as I have my phone out, the creature stands up on its short, strong, black tentacles, hisses again, and lunges at me. The tentacles look like multiple tail ends to a whip. When it lunges, it hisses one last time, and I drop my phone. Rather than landing on me, it lands on the crab that I forgot was following me, and proceeds to make a meal of it. The crab has my phone and is trying to keep it, but the mushroom/jellyfish creature kills the crab, and faces death as well. It protected me I guess.

I’m afraid to grab my phone now, so the guy that was on the cliff jumps down, grabs it, and gives it back. We exchange a few brief words like “well that was entertaining” and I take a picture of the dead sea life at my feet. I say goodbye to the guy and move on to the right again.

I find myself nearing the top of the cliff again, but as I do, the terrain becomes more aggressive and somewhat scary. I’m now walking on pure shells containing the ability to still hold life inside them. Dead small crab shells are among them. I look to my left and contained within the cliff of shells is a massive 10-15 foot squid. Its eyeball was huge, and the squid was a pinkish color. None of its body was starting to deteriorate. For some reason I think the squid, though contained within the cliff, is very much alive. I hustle by it looking for my family, but they’re gone.

I wake up.

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