It’s amazing to walk into work and everyone is all “Hey, Carol!” “Carol, how’s it going?” “Morning Carol! We still up for game night?” Even customers are all “how did you get into work? You need a ride home? How’s Syrus doing?”
Slowly, but surely, community is working its way into my life, and I in there’s. Supports are growing and people are starting to connect as friends and spiritualists. It’s nice being able to connect with people, and I’m hoping my love life turns around this year too. I’ve been talking to a few guys online, and one of them is into BDSM as well, which is a great chance for me to explore myself… He’s well built and lives in Hampton, so not too far away… but I’m not looking to rush into things. I still feel inadequate where I don’t have a car, but I know that has more to do with Aris implanting that insecurity more than anything. Still, stability and independence are also important. A car helps.
It’s moments like this where I love my life, and enjoy my job. I am blessed. For now I’m gonna make a list of ways to utilize the new moon approaching, and where it’s pay day I need more coffee. My cycle is coming soon because I’m sleeping WAY more and WAY earlier than I should. Like, 5pm, up around 7 or 8 for a bit, then back to sleep till 7. I doubt it’s work that’s killing me since I’m enjoying being back in the front end.
I was on a well paved road in Maine against the coastline. It was a beautiful & rich suburban area on top of a mountainside. To my right were houses nestled within a thicket of woods that contrasted the bright green leaves; to the left were a few darker evergreen trees against the edge of the road, but behind that was a cliff that was barred off which overlooked the seaside. It was beautiful. The endless blue above me lifted my spirits and sent me soaring against the salty breeze that refreshed me as I went for some exercise. I’m jogging in this serene state and really wanted to sweat this sense of purification that comes from the inside out. As I progress forward, two guys are also jogging. We meet at this 3-way intersection. I was coming from the right, and they were coming from the left – nothing was on the third path except the “camera angle” momentarily. To my surprise the two guys were Jay and Peter. The moment we all saw each other we stopped for a moment to say hi. Jason was in a really good mood, and I was happy to see them both, but I wanted to keep the momentum up and start running again. Jason decided to run with me instead since Peter was close to where he needed to be, so he was good to go home. Jason and I are running together and talking about everything random under the sun; video games, movies, college, siblings – it felt like the good old days. I don’t remember all the details since I’ve been hesitant to share this dream. It took place a day or two ago.
I must confess I miss my best friend – I don’t know how else to interpret it.