My Second Podcast

I wish I could snag the first podcast off the other app, but it won't let me. I switched too Podbean because it allows for more talk time, easier layout, and it's designed well. From now on my podcast will be through here. My second one was more of a spur of the moment thing [...]

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Addiction, blogs, and the mental element

Tired beyond belief in mind, body, and soul, I turn to my primitive mind engaging in old fantasies of the past that I entertained in my youth, consumed by lust, and the need to be loved. There's something about the emotional brain that's amazing and corruptive when left unchecked, but I find it essential at [...]

Differentiating the Demon from the Man (The Succubi Addiction & Codependency Factor)

Today I've had a veil over my eyes - the hypnotic melodia of my sex drive wanting to rear it's tiny little head out, but instead hijacking my imagination and lulling me back to the fantasy of a man I thought I once knew and loved. This is the experience of addiction, chasing the next fantasy [...]

The Smallest Connection

To be human is to grieve, because if we grieve we are in touch with the swelling of emotions that make us so complex, the glue that permanently connects the puzzle pieces and fragments that make us human compared to the clinical diagnosis that seeks to pull us to pieces for fragmented labels of understanding. [...]

You’re Not Being Abandoned

To My Younger Self, The one whose wounded... The one whose scarred... The one who's afraid you're going to be unloved the whole of your life... It's okay. I'm working on us. They aren't your parents, they aren't your family, and it's my job to heal your wounds and let you know that.  I'm sorry [...]

From the Edge of the Cliff

  Yesterday morning I was riding on the bus and ready to cry.... Then I got to the coffee shop ready to cry... Then I got into work ready to cry... I just don't get it. How is it when I make space for myself to cry it doesn't happen, but right when I don't [...]

Numb for Words

I am so tired... Drained. Exhausted. Beside myself in weariness and weakness. The journey inward is exhausting. Self-care is exhausting. Emotions are exhausting. Everything is just... So... I can't put it into words. This is one of those moments I wish I was more familiar with languages beyond my own, since the English language is [...]

Beauty Towards the Bottom of the Well

After my coffee shop venture this morning I swing by wild mind meditation shop to see if they had anything available I could use to connect with my grief... Found out about this amazing meditation app that you can use and see who's meditating anywhere in the world - beautiful. Still, I didn't get what [...]

Murder

I'm out and about with my dad at nighttime in this highly crowded place - most likely Florida and during Mardi-gras. People have drinks in hand and as they walk down the street, and a few were a little too obnoxious. We make our way to the car whens some heavy African american dude tries [...]