Community Status

It's amazing to walk into work and everyone is all "Hey, Carol!" "Carol, how's it going?" "Morning Carol! We still up for game night?" Even customers are all "how did you get into work? You need a ride home? How's Syrus doing?" Slowly, but surely, community is working its way into my life, and I [...]

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The Chasm Exands

Working out of the "love yourself, heal your life" workbook, I feel that chasm again... The expanding of my chest to create space, but the more I feel that space the more I recognize what currently fills that space, and the longing that it calls for. It calls for me to love myself, but also [...]

I Love You, and I am Listening

Place one hand over your heart, and the other over your stomach. Breathe deeply for just a minute, and say to yourself "I love you, and I am listening". What was the impact? I was doing a guided meditation and was promoted to do this, noticing my internal reactions... It was strange to me. A [...]

My inner circle

I've found the grounding of my inner world... The visual balance of light and darkness, the stillness amongst movement.  A circle of white is painted and somewhat worn in the thickest and dark green grass I've ever enjoyed.. The sky... It dances. Breaking between thick hues of grey clouds is a blinding light, and it [...]

Trust the Process

I wonder... At the bottom of the well... Is she the pieces of me everyone told me not to be? Is this why I fear her? Is this why I hate her? They're the pieces of me everyone shamed as flawed and bad and ugly and worthless and immature and insecure and less than, and [...]

My Dearest Nightmare

Day 1 To My Dearest Love, Forgive me if I don't know where to begin - I'm afraid my thoughts and feelings fall and scatter before me like a summer rain; I welcome and observe with a sense of melancholy what lays before me, but try as I might, I cannot catch them all. I [...]

Another Coworker Dream

I don't remember much of the dream... just the feeling I got at one particular time. There is a guy I work with who, as it turns out, is into anime, video games, and has his own band. Well, the other day (in real life) we got paired up with one another to work on [...]

Swayed But Not Deterred

Today I received my rejection letter for a position I had applied for internally for the organization I have come to love. At first I cried... I couldn't help it. I thought I had sold myself so well, but yet I didn't get the job... what had I done wrong? Turns out, I did nothing [...]

Deeply Affected

Dreams do come true.... this time, it was a dream spent wide awake for 4 years, with the hardest hurdle being the last hurdle. I finally have my bachelors degree, and sent out the application today to Mount Washington College to send my transcripts over to New England College for my masters degree. I'm putting [...]

Run

I was on a well paved road in Maine against the coastline. It was a beautiful & rich suburban area on top of a mountainside. To my right were houses nestled within a thicket of woods that contrasted the bright green leaves; to the left were a few darker evergreen trees against the edge of [...]