I’m at my former place of employment – Yangtze, and I’m begging for a job from Moe. I feel incredibly small… almost half his height; in real life however he’s only about 2 or 3 inches taller than me. He seems somewhat kinder and fatter than he use to be, but I don’t question it. He listens attentively to me and responds both kindly and favorably; then just as he was about to give me the okay to start working, the entire Yangtze crew of waitresses interjects between me and the boss. The odd thing is I don’t know any of them, but they all “know” me. The first girl is heavy set, snooty, and has dirty blonde hair; you can tell she smokes and drinks heavily from the condition of her skin and teeth. Anyway, she pipes in to speak against me and tells Moe I shouldn’t be hired back because they all had too many problems with me. Calmly and rationally, I confronted her and told her to tell me the problems she had with me, stating “I can’t take ownership or responsibility for my actions until you tell me what I did wrong.” She was dumb struck but trying to keep her composure, so I said “go ahead, tell me what I did wrong, and then I can tell you what you did wrong.” I heard this kind of “Oooo” in the background and “psh” off to the side. Obviously I was pissed. Here I am begging for a job because my life and my sons life is on the line, and then this bitch who doesn’t even know me decides to step in and dictate my life? Who the hell does she think she is!?! Never the less they all disperse and I kind of wander around the restaurant waiting for a response from Moe. Then another waitress steps forward and decides to “inform “me whats “wrong” with me, without actually telling me whats wrong. She was my height, black hair, African American, medium thickness with her weight; actually she was very pretty. She told me I should just leave because I’m gonna screw everyone over. I told her “I dont even know you!!! Who are you to say anything?”, but she just kept telling me I suck, I’m gonna screw everyone over, I should leave, etc… She finally leaves and I walk back over to Moe. He WAS going to give me the job, but now because of the waitresses, and my less than flattering performance on saying I was gonna tell the other waitress whats wrong with her, he decides he doesn’t want to anymore. I break-down in a hard, heavy, and painful cry, trying to keep it as quiet as possible which made the intensity worse. The only thing that ran through me was the feeling that dictation between life and death was made for me and my son; we had no hope. Moe saw me sobbing and he visibly felt bad, but had made up his mind. The dream ends.
The first part of my dream is hard to remember, consisting of varying elements. The second half is MUCH clearer, and I HAVE to work through it with dream analysis.
My ex was in my dream. We talked about something and I know I got pissed. Eventually he left and I went and talked with a few random people who were “friends,” although I know none of them. I remember telling them something to do with the fact that he’s an asshole for neglecting his son, but Ienjoy my life with him not being around. I can finally breathe. Then I was somehow employed. My job was to go to random places and ask for my boss’s debt they owe… don’t know if it was rent or favors or what. Never actually got around to asking for anything though… just traveled randomly. I know I was between staples and yangtze restaurant at some point. Finally I walk into a bar for my job and am standing at the entrance with everybody looking at me – though not awkwardly, just ready to engage in a converstaion, like I was one of the regulars. I made a comment how the local media said no one died this year for christmas/december season. Some folks were happy to hear it – others were there because they needed a stiff drink and a chance to vent, so afterwards someone piped up and started complaining on how some places got busted by the state liquor commissioner – swearing up a storm and thinking this is the end for all bars. Drunk fool. >.>’
Then my dream changed. I was living – breathing underwater. On a personal note this has NEVER happened before. Until I had the museum dream with the Egyptian necklace being stolen, I’d always drown. Now, I’m breathing. I’m shocked in real life. Anyway… there was a large wooden table on the bottom of the sea with 7 chairs around it. The ocean water itself was a vivid blue color. My mom was at the head of the table, and my sister was quietly sitting off to the side by herself. Mom was happy to see me, and I her. I cracked a joke about how surprised I am that were all still breathing – but then something caught my eye as she was talking. Off in the distance I saw a man covering his mouth and struggling under the water. He was drowning – and I couldn’t believe who it was…. it was Jay, and he was at the end of his rope. I tell my mom to excuse me, since I need to take care of something dire, and I’m off. I take my oxygen tank I had equipped on my back (out of nowhere) and adjust the pressure so air could escape from the bottom of the tank. It quickly propels me forward and he’s soon in my arms. He’s not breathing. I remained calm the whole time, and brought him to the surface – hoping to save him. I was just shy of a few seconds from delivering air to him – I still had a chance to revive him. Were in the middle of the ocean though, and there’s no where to lay him so I can perform CPR. I tried too though. I put my mouth over his and blew, but stopped when I realized I’d have a hard time pushing the air out. I sneakily chuckled on the inside though, hoping to get away with a kiss – but I just couldn’t bring myself to it. I know he’d be wicked pissed off if he ever found out, and I wanted to respect the boundaries between us. Emotionally I started to struggle. I have to save him. I cradle him with one arm, and with the other I push on his chest to try and bring him back, but nothing happens. He still looks and feels alive – but he’s not breathing. I now have a mask connected to the oxygen tank and strap it over his face. I’m growing desperate and wonder if I should just punch him in the stomach to see if that’ll wake him up. My hope is it’ll jolt him up so he’s coughing up the water he swallowed – but I don’t want to hurt him. I just want him to live. He never actually died that I could tell; I just couldn’t get him to wake.
Were lost in the middle of the ocean with no help in the middle of the night. The moon is reflecting on the water, but not a star in the sky. The darkness is closing in as my mind dollies out on the two of us in the middle of the ocean. It’s black.
I wake up to a screaming alarm.
Some days I hate the alarm. Other days like this – I’m thankful it woke me up.
Now to figure out what all that oceanic drama filled crap was about.