Containment Past The Breaking Point

I don't know where to begin, other than with the tears I've had bottled up inside of me lately... It starts with a steady stream of hating my "new job". I got to work 2 weeks ago where I was told I was no longer front end and am now Deli only. I had made [...]

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On Spirituality & Self

I suppose the need for control comes from the inability to forgive... If I could forgive, I wouldn't need to have so many walls up... What would it look like to forgive? What would it look like to forgive myself? Forgiveness and "letting go" go hand-in-hand... I don't know what I'm doing or how to [...]

The Chasm Exands

Working out of the "love yourself, heal your life" workbook, I feel that chasm again... The expanding of my chest to create space, but the more I feel that space the more I recognize what currently fills that space, and the longing that it calls for. It calls for me to love myself, but also [...]

My inner circle

I've found the grounding of my inner world... The visual balance of light and darkness, the stillness amongst movement.  A circle of white is painted and somewhat worn in the thickest and dark green grass I've ever enjoyed.. The sky... It dances. Breaking between thick hues of grey clouds is a blinding light, and it [...]

The Thunderstorms of Anger

Anger... It thunders. It's loud, and comes with a torrential downpour. Sometimes there is warning; a rumble in the distance to let you know it's coming, but overall it's a downpour, and it's difficult to control.  The winds of emotion sway the sacred trees of inner wisdom that carry the artistic leaves of presence... I'm [...]

Practicing Loving Kindness

I need to remember everyone is struggling with something, and not just struggling, but deeply. With this context, I can (hopefully) reduce some of the internal tension I feel when doing the loving kindness mantra. I feel the positive energy when I send it to all beings, and its strongest at that point; I wish [...]

Make it Rain

   I recently downloaded a meditation app that is absolutely amazing, and I highly recommend it for anyone looking to practice meditation, develop loving kindness, and nurture your wounds... It's called insight timer, and they have guided meditations that you can do with people all across the world.  One of them I did is called [...]

From the Edge of the Cliff

  Yesterday morning I was riding on the bus and ready to cry.... Then I got to the coffee shop ready to cry... Then I got into work ready to cry... I just don't get it. How is it when I make space for myself to cry it doesn't happen, but right when I don't [...]

Numb for Words

I am so tired... Drained. Exhausted. Beside myself in weariness and weakness. The journey inward is exhausting. Self-care is exhausting. Emotions are exhausting. Everything is just... So... I can't put it into words. This is one of those moments I wish I was more familiar with languages beyond my own, since the English language is [...]

Beauty Towards the Bottom of the Well

After my coffee shop venture this morning I swing by wild mind meditation shop to see if they had anything available I could use to connect with my grief... Found out about this amazing meditation app that you can use and see who's meditating anywhere in the world - beautiful. Still, I didn't get what [...]