Tag Archives: Tarot

Tales of a Tarot Reader Pt. 1

About 2 or 3 weeks ago I started my own pagan consult business, but it’s mostly paid tarot readings. I sat at the computer, typed up a flyer, printed out 10, and on the second hand-out at 5 monkeys tattoo, the woman was like “Oh my god, you do tarot readings? You have time to do one now? How much?” I pulled out my deck, nervous as this was my first paid reading and I was afraid it would be a dud, but I did what I always do.

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All my cards are cleansed in a selenite grid to rid it of any negative energy from the previous reading, and to reset it for the next. She explained to me that there was this cop she was seeing but wasn’t sure it was worth it as there were a lot of conflicts. I shuffled the deck to make sure none were facing upside down, then allowed her to shuffle, making sure she thought about her relationship with this man so the energy of them is put into the cards.

Energy reading is strange… it’s like putting your hand high above an exposed flame – you feel the warmth and energy from the fire, and the closer you get to the flame, the hotter it gets. Many Reiki readers say there is a ton of warmth radiating off their hands, and for 1 Reiki master in particular, I know this to be true. I on the other hand, feel it like a rock of energy versus a flame. I don’t feel the warmth as most people do with Reiki readings and such, but a ball that’s pushing against my hands – the harder it pushes, the more I know the card I’m meant to draw is there. Where my moon sign is Sagittarian which is all about energy magic and is described as a thunderbolt with its force, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised… where my sun sign is water and my moon sign is fire, I’m drawn to think of a volcano… the lava is fire, which when cooled by water (or air), turns to rock. Maybe it’s the blending of these signs that allows me to feel energy as a rock…. but I digress.

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The next day I did 3 more readings at the same place for 2 more people – one was the owners, and the other her apprentice. The owner wanted to know about her long-term financial success and her relationship with the current co-owner (who I guess is a little bi-polar), and the apprentice wanted to know if she was on the right path with her career and love life as well. I ended up using a bunch of decks, but with all three, there was an awesome amount of success. I’m hoping to do a tarot event at their shop where they do the $30 tattoos while I do readings for the people who are waiting. I also offered to do an energy cleanse of the place since a lot of bad vibes make its way into that shop. At the end, they paid me $35 between the two and thanked them for their time.

Yesterday I got to do a reading for a former coworker of mine I hadn’t seen in ages, and it was both heart breaking and beautiful… she too works with people with disabilities, and where the group home she works out of is closing, she wanted to see what the cards had to say about the future. Not only did it acknowledge the suffering she feels alongside these people, but the tower showed me she also felt like she was carrying the weight of the world. Another card told her she’s on the right path, and the last said she needed to learn to celebrate her successes. This prompted me to ask her about her self-care techniques, and she made it very clear that the closest she has to self-care these days is alcohol and not getting out of bed for a full 24 hours on her day off because of how emotionally draining the job is combined with her depression in general. I pulled a few self-care cards and allowed her to pull some soul-journey cards that she felt drawn to. What caught me off guard however is as I was watching her go through these cards, and she refused to pull the empathy card… again, self-care problems, human service, depression, mourning with people… it struck me as bazaar as I knew she was an empath, and I felt the energy from it. I asked her “why didn’t you draw the empathy card.”

Her answer floored me…

“Everyones always told me I’m an empath, but I don’t want to be… picking up on peoples emotions and stuff, it’s just too much to carry. I push it away as much as possible… maybe because of the responsibility that comes with? I don’t know.”

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I explained to her how in my own journey, the success of an empath relies on the ability to be empathic towards oneself, and how self-care falls into that spectrum. I asked if there could be a relationship between her pushing away her empathic nature and lack of self-care.

“It’s a possibility… most definitely. I can really see that.”

The self-care deck I told her to pour her needs into the cards, more on a feeling level than a thinking one. As soon as she handed me the cards my entire body was covered in waves of goose bumps… then as I read the energy I started crying, and she felt so bad. She apologized that it was so difficult to do this reading, to which I responded”

“It’s not that it’s too difficult, it’s that your needs are so great, it’s hard for me to process all this at once. There is a ton of energy coming from this, but I promise this is not a bad thing, and we will get through this…”

Finally after going through them all we settled on 4 cards, and low and behold, a theme of low-self esteem and practicing self-care emerges.

I did the second reading for her, this time on her love life which showed promise, and then my last reading for her took an unexpected turn. Her roommate is a therapist who also hits the bottle pretty hard, and although she doesn’t name names, she does dump all her baggage from listening to her clients onto my former coworker. I was rather pissed to hear this considering what I’d learned in my clinical psychology courses and possible HIPPA violations, but I at least wanted to provide some boundary cards to help my friend out. Even though I had her hold the cards, channel the energy, and I read them, the results told her that alcoholism is becoming an addiction, and she needs to spend this week she’s on vacation focusing on meditation, her solar chakra, self-care, and her needs. The only connection it had to the roommate was their bond of drinking, but I couldn’t argue with the cards… it was an answer to a question that wasn’t necessarily being sought out, but in the end, was needed to hear. My friend apologized for not receiving the answer I was hoping to give her, but promised me it was a theme that was popping up in the readings from the beginning, so was probably needed to be said. I was okay, and told her that all I do is read the energy off the cards and interpret them – I don’t know why those cards were picked, but I’m just a conduit in the end. They weren’t wrong by any means, they were just not the answers I was after… but it’s okay, thats part of my learning curve too.

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I really do enjoy doing Tarot work, despite how draining it is. I started providing snacks for myself and my clients at the end of my sessions because food is great for grounding where I’m pie-in-the-sky from doing so much energy work. I’m glad my success is slow and steady, and I hope this is becoming something long-term for me.

For those who are interested, my facebook page is called My Pagan Friend Consult

 

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Soul Baring

Why does falling for someone have this weird obsessive intensity to it? For the past couple of days I find myself wanting to lie in bed and think of him… Endless sarcasm, deeper connections, too many positions and bedroom games that I’ve rehearsed before I’ve ever laid a finger on him. 


Thankfully he likes me too – winking at me, starting me down, showing up in my line and joking away, creating a list of adventures for us to take next month, calling me out cause he wants to be touched too, and so on. Short of flat out saying it he’s told me in every other way possible, which is humorous considering he’s all “tell it to me straight because I hate having to dissect information and figure it out”. He’s a georgeous and complicated piece of work whose vibrational energy seems ignite and awaken something so much healthier than what I’ve ever known. The closer I long to be the more awareness I have towards so little I know of him, but from what I’ve been able to dissect there’s just a healthy enough of a balance to maintain individuality and joining while still learning and growing. I can tell I’m nearing the dirty 30 prime because I physically have a hard time containing how primal my lust seems to be at present, and the cliche of what feels like a burning fire within suddenly is no longer cliche, and the potency of teenage longing feels like child play, making it difficult to maintain eye contact with him at times, which I know he perceives as a reflect of low self-esteem to some extent, but boy I’ve never felt so nervous about the feelings and sensations I have within me. 


In truth, although I asked my tarot cards what the future holds between us, and I was shocked to see the lovers right there in plain sight I still held disbelief that he’d ever look my way… It’s just so strange, and the unfolding of us seems so agonizingly slow at this point, perhaps to teach me a lesson about myself as destiny writes itself on the pages of fate. For now and for the next couple of days, I need to resolve to return to self – It’s the only way I’m going to be able to maintain myself and contain the illusion of strength while descending into someing much darker and richer emotionally than I ever thought could exist. 


If only my understanding of the realms of love and emotion for men didn’t seem like such a mystery, maybe then I’d have a better idea of what I’m doing rather than chasing the safest energy path in blind trust. Visions and beliefs begin to manifest that perhaps the pain and bullshit I’ve experienced will contextually make sense when faced with the reality of you – the resonance of what seems and feels like a twin flame becoming a reality. I’m not seeking to be completed, because I see what makes me whole quite clearly now… But… It’s just so hard to explain. I don’t know. Im at a loss, but comfortable in the darkness right now… The realm of intellectual unknowing because emotionally, I feel comfort cause somehow I know where this is where I need to be; a trust in the process without knowing what the process is. 


Dear Josh, I can only hope on some level you feel how raw, carnal, and primal this energy is… You told me you chose a path of celibacy because you’re waiting for “the one”. Romantic in its own right, and self-protection on another, all I heard was that I’d need to work twice as hard for anything to happen between us. Luckily, I’m a hard worker, but damn… I had no idea how difficult this was going to be. ❤️

Relationship with my Tarot Deck


The Answers:

1) Eight of Wands

2) Two of Wands

3) Five of Cups

Our relationship should be developed quickly, as the cards cannot be neglected (most likely due to energy work). Practicing spirituality like is will require devotion (as my 2017 spread said) and as a result, something I feel is emotionally important in my life will be sacrificed (most likely an unhealthy or distracting habit). Their may be some grief letting go of this habit, but this will be good. 

My 2017 Tarot Spread

I did my first ever Tarot reading today, and it was amazing! I asked what the year had in store for me based on the areas the spread provides, and after a good deal of time spent reading the meaning of the cards and interpreting them, this was what I had.

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Aries: Persona – The Moon

“Someone or something is not as it seems. There is a risk here that you are being lied too. Take another look at the situation and ask more questions.”

At first I was confused… “How does this relate to persona?” Then it hit me like a lightning bolt. With my self-esteem issues, people who are closest to me do the most amount of damage when there is a problem. The balance of power in myself is off, and I believe what this is really calling for is boundary work for 2017. Because this is the first card I read, and the last one I was able to interpret, it made a lot of sense, especially as the cards continued to unfold.

Taurus: Creature Comforts – The World

“Great success in all areas of life. Total success and contentment are available to you now.”

In this case I looked at creature comforts as another way of saying “self-care”; in other words, as long as I’m working on myself and accepting why its okay to indulge, spoil, and take care of me, this will increase my chances of success in all areas of my life.

Gemini: Social Life – Page of Pentacles

“News or information about security is coming my way.This may be winning money, a birthday gift, or a small inheritance. It may be getting a new job or getting a pay raise.”

Where I’ll be getting a vehicle soon I had planned on getting a new job, and with that it should expand my social circle, as well increase my income. In conjunction with my career card, I see it making the most amount of sense.

Cancer: Home Life – The Hanged Man

“The Hanged Man is about letting go & surrendering to experience and emotional release. Things may be in a rut or not going as you’d hoped, but accept what it is, and giving up control. The Hanged man calls you to reverse your view of the world and see something in a new way; a shifting state of mind.”

Considering everything that went down last year this is an especially powerful card that’s self-explanatory.

Leo: Creativity – The Ace of Swords

“Victory and triumph will come with hard work. Working alone will give you the satisfaction of reward for your efforts.”

Maybe this year I can perfect some of my music or artistic skills into my self-care needs.

Virgo: Health – Hierophant

I found the answer to what this card means to be pretty hilarious in a way, simply because of it’s literal meaning and… well… simplicity!

“This card shows the need to seek out professional advice from doctors, lawyers, and financial advisers. Alternatively, any ritualistic service that is performed under the eyes and jurisdiction of the Church, such as marriage, christenings, or divorce.”

In other word, so be afraid to seek out help this year with regards to any element of my health. Words of wisdom.

Libra: Love Life – Eight of Swords

“There are restrictions in your ability to get on with life freely. This could include a possessive partner, growing up with parents who have a severely strict outlook on life, or being restricted through disability, culture, pregnancy, or faith.”

The art work on the card and the way the artist also presents it in the Shadowscapes deck, she adds her own personal interpretation in conjunction with the traditional meanings that are provided. The picture is of a swan tangled in blackberry hedges. She says “It is easy to freeze up in a crisis – to feel restricted, confused, powerless, and trapped by circumstance – but there is always a way out if you take a moment to breathe and reassess.”

Surprisingly both my horoscope and this are predicting love may be on the horizon for 2017. I take this card and the Moon Card as a cautionary tale of how I may need to handle myself in such a case.

Scorpio: Transformation – Knight of Pentacles

“Determined to get ahead with ambitions in life, the Knight of Pentacles plans things strategically, knowing how to charge forward and climb the ladders of success. He’s focused and proceeds to continue his steps towards his goals.”

With my nasty habit of procrastination I may need to work on it, since success is laid out before me this year!

Sagittarius: Spiritual Life – Five of Wands

“Communication will be key as disagreements can be a source of learning and growth.”

At first I took this to mean my pagan practices as a witch and the message boards and FB groups I’m in, but then I removed the religious “literalism” (for lack of a better term) from the word Spiritual and expanded it. This goes hand in hand with my health card and a few others, and is expanding into personal growth on all levels of my soul. If it’s one thing I can’t handle it’s disagreements on things I’m passionate about, and will often just block people left and right despite how long I may have known them or their connection with me on Facebook. This is something I’ll have to work on.

Capricorn: Career – Three of Wands

“Pursue new interests or directions in your career. A new path is opening up, and going down this road will bring you good things.This includes higher education, hobbies, or new research.”

Ironic that I’m applying to finish my masters and I get this. Not sure if new direction implies directing away from Hannaford or switching it up to Social Work. I guess I’ll figure it out as I go.

Aquarius: Community – Six of Wands

“You will receive public recognition and admiration from a job well done. Friends and peers will give you support. Enjoy the satisfaction.”

Thats…  pretty incredible! My vision board in dead center has a group of people holding hands toward the sun against the ocean, and I took that to symbolize community. I also recently had a dream too where I was asked by someone at Great Bay Services “What are your long-term goals with this line of work”, and I told them “Something into politics. I wanna reform the system and give these people the help they deserve.” Again, this says social work to me. Doing those random acts of kindness for November and December really made me feel good, and was similar to volunteering to me. I also wanna do something with the SPCA. If I can’t have a cat, then I’ll find another way to take care of them XD.

Pisces: Secrets – Two of Cups & Reverse Two of Cups

Now, the artist of this deck had zero intentions of her cards being interpreted upside down, and as a result, she didn’t provide them. Using my other tarot guide that outlines standard meaning and spreads, it included it. When I had this card in my hand I also had 1 more, and I was feeling out the energies of them (face down) to determine which card should be used. I have no idea how it turned out upside down, but when I flipped it over the same way I did all the others, there it was. I personally don’t think Tarot cards should be read upside down, but the meaning was rather… ironic. The standard Two of Cups is as follows…

“This card shows the forming of an important relationship, built on common interests, friendship, and a higher understanding of adult love and companionship. This connection spans the march of time and develops within you.”

The reverse has this to say…

“This card shows that there is a petty argument that needs to be gotten over. Reconciliation needs to occur.”

There’s a part of me that see the reverse interpretation and thinks about my roommates, but by the same token those were not petty. In addition this card is often reflective of lovers. With love on the horizon for me, this may also go back to my communication/swords card.

Overall I have to say I am blown away by the results of this tarot spread. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I honestly had my doubts about it’s authenticity, but I opened myself to the experience and was amazed at what I saw and the level of authenticity that applies. I’ve been working at recording, translating, and understanding the results for about half of the day on and off, and I’m hopeful to see what the year will unfold for me. ❤

My vision board explanation will have to wait until tomorrow; I’m wiped. For now it’s pizza, relaxation, and snuggle time with the kiddo.