Tag Archives: worry

Night on the Town

Dream Reflection

It was night out, and not a single speck of light was given by the sky – no moon, no stars, just black. I’m outside looking at a strip of small shops, bars, and overall the hipster scene. Light posts glow against the pavement and dim and somewhat dingy yellow. For some reason I think it looks a lot like Dover. My brother Jamie and I decide to hit up the arcade, and we run through various activities. I seem to remember looking at the center of the ski-ball and wondering about the numbers for some reason, and then I wait for my tickets from the machines  but turn up empty handed.

Now I’m running low on money, and decide that what little I have left shouldn’t be spent here. I head next door to a crowded bar. Small cafe style tables and chairs are squeezed into the narrow room. Very little light is portrayed on the people sitting down, making it impossible to determine how many were there or even the gender of them. I seem to recall someone smoking though. At the end of this clustering of bar scene hoppers, theres a woman providing live entertainment between her voice, the guitar she played, and the small amount of band members playing the drums and such, but I never saw any of them. She was about 5’6, tons of dirty blonde hair with dread-locks piled on top of each other. She wore tinted glasses and skinny jeans… one would think she’s stuck between the 70’s and too much Rastafarianism. I listen to her sing -and holy fuck could she sing – she’s REALLY good. When she’s done I approach her as she turns right from where she sat and leans over a small round table. I told her how amazed I am with her performance, and how I would be honored to buy her CD. She’s delighted to hear it, and sell me her entire discography at a discounted price. There’s one other taller male accompanying her from behind now. Little portly, little nerdy – totally cute. I give her the money and walk away. I know I had the discography in my hands before the exchange of money, but it wasn’t on me when I left.

I wander off to arcade again, which has now become a top to bottom oak wood restaurant without any tables or chairs. I try to look for Jamie and have fun again, but didn’t meet up with him. Somehow my cash reserve is no longer as empty as I perceived it to be. Dad is there now, and so are two teenaged girls; must be between 12 and 14 the way they look. The two of them walk ahead of me slowly and giggle at one another. Finally one of them stops me and asks for “donations” to go towards their education. She seemed smug and insincere about it- body only turned part way towards me and couldn’t make direct eye contact. I just couldn’t trust her, or her friend. Without flat out saying “No, I think you’re a liar who can’t be trusted,” I lecture them both on how I don’t believe them because of the location. They’re in an arcade asking for money, and they’ll spend the money, not put it towards their schooling. I seem to remember saying something about not needing donations for that until college. I get agitated by them for some reason and eventually shut up to let them go. I look up and see my dad watching me, but can’t make out what he’s feeling or thinking. He looked less than happy with me now, and perhaps on a pissed scale as well; and then it dongs on me. As I was lecturing the girls I realize I sounded just like him. I walk away and remember I still dont have the CD’s from earlier, and I begin to worry if she’s a con-artist and the whole thing was a scam. I ask someone random about the CD’s and if I can get my money back, but I can’t. They tell me it’ll be sent by mail, and to wait.

Now I am home waiting for the CD’s quite pissantly. I’m in my bedroom, and there is natural sunlight coming through the shades on my windows. I look at the gray & silver gown hanging in my closet (which is wide open and rather empty/organized strangely.)  I pick up the gown by the hanger and admire it longingly. I think how beautiful it is, and for some reason I can’t wear it.

8am – and my alarm screams at me. Time to get up.

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Teachers of Revenge

I’m going to school, and the school itself has changed. It’s a fusion of my college and my son’s elementary school. Sy has daycare at “our” school now, and its a woman who looks almost the same as his primary teacher, along with a few teachers aids. After I’ve dropped him off in the classroom I turn around after shutting the door and see a loud mouth gossiper who’s my “friend” in this dream. She’s a short older grey haired woman in a darker grey sweater and black jeans. I say hi real quick and walk off to class, but forget where the class is located (I think) and wander back. There’s a door open, and the gossiping woman and my son’s teacher are talking in a closet and the “friend” starts to lie to her, saying how I’ve been telling people that I’ve been working hard in the classroom with my son; So in an effort to “help,” she tells my son’s teacher that I should have a job in the classroom, and possibly take her job. I stop her nonsense talk right then and there in a state of panic and fury, and interrupt them to clarify I never said any of this. All I said was that I volunteered in the classroom once, but wasn’t very helpful at all. As I said this, I looked at the teacher first, and placed my hand on her shoulder to try and validate my point. She was in the classroom, so she would know; then I look at my “friend” and glare at her. She’s embarrassed as fuck, and the teacher is pissed. The teacher stormed out of the closet leaving me upset and worried.

Later I’m in another classroom and I’m forced to stop what I’m doing. I’m bound and gagged by a bunch of women. They held me down, straw in my mouth, and forced me to over dose on cough medicine to try and kill me. It doesn’t work as planed. I pass out, but still breathing, so they send me to a torture room to have me killed in maple syrup  I’m lying on this metal grid with large circles in it, and it starts to raise. Syrup floods the room and starts to boil. I feel uncomfortable and roll over – a little to close to the edge to the point of falling in. Just then I’m rescued by a bunch of other teachers who actually work with the police, figured out “Leanne” – the teacher did it, and am healed back to normal. I give a statement and ask for a follow up report, but it turns out they’re not going to bring her to justice. I was pissed! In the end the police dropped me off outside the school, which is now located somewhere random in the middle of Dover. I realize all that drama made me miss 24 hours of class, but whats worse – where has my son been for the past 24 hours? I freak out and run around looking for him, but to no avail. I walk back to the school to try and find him there but I cant find the school now.  I look for a cop to help me but none of them are out driving.

I’m ready to cry. I miss my son.

I wake up

The Sea of Dreams

I found myself standing beside my bed staring out the window on a warm spring morning. Nature was growing towards the sky, and the sun beamed brightly through my window. I could see the road into town that lay just beyond the small patch of lawn in front of the house. A thicket of trees lay just behind the road that barely covered the river that borders into Maine. It was truly a beautiful morning. In the background was the voice of my mother, Anna, who was in the kitchen having a rather one sided conversation. She was talking about how my brother Jamie was coming home from a trip with the local church run boy-scout program today known as Pathfinders. “I need a vacation” I thought to myself with a sense of longing, when no sooner my mother continues on to say “He’s coming home by boat.” “A cruise” I thought, “A cruise! That’s what I need.” Instantly I booked a vacation to some unknown destination with the printed tickets laying before me on the bed. Suddenly, in conjunction with the squeaking of the front door, a familiar voice reaches my ears.

“I’m home” someone shouted. I open my bedroom door to see Jamie. As happy as I was to see him, my attention was quickly diverted when I see this massive two ton ocean liner standing upright upon it’s pointed bottom! Most astonishing of all was the fact that this massive ship was parked behind the family car! “What is that” I exclaimed! “Oh, that’s the boat I came home on.” It was painted from the bottom to a third of the way up in a dull brick red color, with the rest of the ship being a basic white color that was losing it’s gloss from dealing with the harsh ocean sea. To the top center of the ship, I could see a giant steam pipe that was a high shine onyx. I stood in awe of the ship for just a moment  until it broke into a flash of worry that rippled through me from head to toe.

     My mind told me this was also the ship I needed for my trip. “Jamie, I’m supposed to be leaving for a cruise! Is this the ship I need?” “I don’t know” he responds; typical annoying answer from him, but I had no time to drill him with questions. My anxiety skyrocketed as I believed that this was the ship I needed for my trip. If I could get on now, I knew it would work out well. I quickly glanced into my bedroom to see that somehow my small black duffel bag was out on my bed, clothes folded, and neatly tucked inside. All that was missing was the toiletries. I zoomed, raced, and dashed back and forth between the bathroom down the hall and my bedroom, periodically checking out the screen door to see if my ticket to paradise was still there. I grabbed the last two items I needed to be packed – my toothbrush and toothpaste, when just before throwing it in my bag, I again look out the door, and see that the ship was gone. Despair and frustration swelled within me in the blink of an eye. No sooner had the feeling rushed into me when my bare feet took off dashing out the door chasing after the ship, as if they had a mind of their own. When I left I realized I forgot my bag and ticket, but I didn’t care; I have missed one too many awesome plans I’ve made throughout the whole of my world, and for once, I wasn’t going to miss the chance of a lifetime!

     The ship rumbled as it “sailed” up hill against the concrete. No scratch marks were made against the pavement, and the road didn’t crack under the weight either. Between the edges of the road and where the sidewalk begins, I noticed thin plates of steel notched with small rectangles along the center to the left and right side of the road. “This must be how the ship is moving,” I panted, trying my hardest to run up that hill, but my energy was quickly being diverted from my feet to my anxiety, preventing me from going any faster. Suddenly, the ocean liner picked up the pace, and I knew I was in trouble.

The boat reached the top of the hill and turned to the right. I wasn’t too far behind, but not close enough to stop it. To my amazement, as I got to the top of the hill, I see this behemoth of hard work and steel sail away into a sea of darkness – into a yellow painted two car garage! It sailed downward through the garage shrinking as it drifted away.

     All hope seemed lost then. As I stood there longing to make it onto the ship, I noticed two women, both of which were dressed for business. The one on the left was thin, blond haired, and blue eyed with a semi-pale complexion. Her hair was highly glossed and pulled back into a bun. The outfit was a deep blue jacket and knee high skirt with a white shirt underneath. The woman to the left was dressed the same, but was a brunette with long wavy hair. Overall I thought they looked more like airline attendants more than women working for a cruise ship.

     “That ship” I shouted, gasping to catch my breath. “That ship… it was parked outside my house and dropped off my brother, but I also paid to take this cruise. Can I still get on?”. The blonde haired woman smiled gently and said “Yes, but this cruise is meant for women who are expecting only. You know, a chance for mommy and baby to bond. Is this the cruise you’re looking for?” I stopped and thought about this for a moment. On the one hand, I have a beautiful two year old little boy in real life, thereby breaking the essence of the fantasy I was dreaming. On the other hand, my dream is taking place in the last house I lived in before moving out. Chronologically, I mustn’t have had a child. I didn’t know what to say. Should I lie to them? Should I tell the truth? Before I had the chance to answer their question, the two women slowly walked a few feet ahead of me and stopped to chat in private. That’s when things took a turn for the worst.

     Screams were echoed from the house to the right across the street. Then the sound of metal buckling and tearing. Without a moments notice, the garage below my feet, and everything to the right of me was sucked down into a watery grave. That’s when I realized I was on the ship and sinking fast. I held my breath and swam for dear life to get my head above water. My heart was racing as my chest started to pound from my body screaming for breath and life. The weight of the ship below me was pulling me under hard and fast creating a force of suction that I could not escape. I look up while drowning to see rays of light shimmering through the olive green water…. and in that moment, I gave up. I knew my breath was running short. There was no way I could escape the ships grasp. I grimly accepted my fate knowing these frigid waters were my coffin, no one would ever see me again, and I could not escape my time. I hadn’t enough breath to reach the top by now. The world began to fade away until it blacked out.

I woke up gasping for breath and life…. I had been holding my breath again in real life. This isn’t the first time I had done this – oh no. Drowning is a repetitious dream I’ve had since I was a child… eight to be exact. I lay there shaken and covered in a pool of sweat with the urge to kick the covers off – too hot. The moment I did that an extreme chill struck me. I forgot to shut the sliding glass door last night, leaving a small crack for the cold air to slowly travel through.